Our way to each other | Binwoo

one

Note: hello there, it's a binwoo fanfic that may be very long. One important thing is that English isn't my first language so I'm sorry if there'll be some mistakes, both, grammatical and spelling mistakes.
🔞Contains Implicit and Explicit Content in a couple of chapters.
⚠️Contains strong language (but not that much/often).
Hope you'll enjoy the story <3
We will start now.
————————————————————————

September 2016.

Moonbin's POV.

It was an ordinary day for me and the other members. In the evening Jinjin hyung cooked dinner and everybody was about to start eating when Eunwoo said he had something to tell us. He was nervous though.

We sat down and were ready to listen carefully. It took him a minute or two to brace himself but finally, the words burst out.

"I have someone I like."

No one could say a word, everybody was staring at Eunwoo. Except me. I put my head down. It felt like I was lost or moved to another universe. But when Minhyuk asked about the person Eunwoo liked, I came back to reality and looked at my hyung with a puzzled facial expression, waiting for the answer.

"Her name is Mina. You don't know her, but we went to the same school when we were younger."

"So, you wanna tell her about your feelings or..." MJ asked.

"I don't know. We've been in touch for only 5 days now. What I know for sure is that we need some time to know each other better. She could've changed since our school days. And I've changed too."

"Right, take your time."

That was the only response from Jinjin hyung and then everyone started eating and did it in silence.

Maybe it was an awkward silence for them but for me, it was just a heartbreaking moment. The thing I was most afraid of happened. It was predictable enough that Eunwoo would fall in love one day but I wasn't prepared it might happen today. Would I ever be able to prepare for it? I don't think so.

It's been almost 3 years now since I fell in love with Eunwoo. I remember I felt something strange and unknown when I was crying in the practice room and Eunwoo came to comfort me.

When my life was falling apart, when my grades at school were lower than usual, when I was behind other trainees because I couldn't pull myself together. And everything was happening at the same time. It was a burden. So one day I ran out of the practice room, went to another that was empty, and sat down on the floor. I was hugging my knees and crying as silently as I could.

After a few minutes, someone entered the room. It was Eunwoo, he sat down and hugged me with one hand.

"What happened?"

His soft voice helped me to calm down so I could talk without stuttering.

"I'm so tired. I want to leave the agency. Everything is just- it's too much for me. It's too hard to handle."

There was a pause before he responded.

"I know you have a passion for dancing and singing. You shouldn't give up. Take some time to rethink everything. And no matter what you choose, all I can do is just support your decision."

Then he stood up, made eye contact with me while smiling, and left the room.

But maybe just after a week, I realized I started to have feelings for him. Because of him I didn't give up. And now... when he said he had a crush on a girl... what was I expecting though? That he would like me back? A guy and his best friend? How stupid of me.

I hated myself for the fact I like him because he's a guy and I'm a guy too. And after years of accepting myself this evening of confession happened. My heart ached and a lump in my throat... I could almost feel it. So I finished with the food earlier than everybody else, left the plate and cutlery in a sink, and on my way to another room I heard MJ hyung shouting something like "Who will wash the dishes?" but I ignored him. One more second in the kitchen and they could see me crying.

I was almost running to the room Eunwoo and I shared. And as soon as I lay down on my bed, tears started falling down.

Eunwoo came after a few hours. Before, he was playing computer games with Sanha, so their laughter and shouting could be heard in every corner of the house.

It was time to go to bed but I'd been crying for 2 hours and couldn't stop even though I was exhausted.

When Eunwoo entered the room all I could do is bite my bedsheet and be silent. It was hard to hold back tears but it worked. He probably thought I was already sleeping.

I just need some time, 5 more minutes to be silent and wait until Eunwoo falls asleep. But one accidental whimper and Eunwoo turned his head. The rustle of a sheet was heard. Our beds weren't that close but they were placed in parallel. His bed near one wall, mine near another.

"Binnie?"

It was heard in the dark, quiet room.

Please, don't say a word.

Another whimper. Damn it.

"Bin, are you okay?"

Please, don't say anything. Even hearing your voice hurts me so much.

He didn't say anything after. Because there was no whimper heard. Because I clutched the sheet in my hand and held it in my teeth.

Wish me luck so I don't wake up like a zombie tomorrow. Although I know my eyes will be swollen and a lump in my throat will not disappear. And I know he will ask me about this night. And I know I won't answer. But it will be tomorrow and now my eyes are closing slowly.

Good night.

————————————————————————
That's it!  Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will wait for the next one. I'll appreciate it so much if you vote for it :)