Our way to each other | Binwoo

twenty one

"Funny, how you can have lots of love around but you won't feel loved... You won't understand."

"You don't feel loved?"

"Of course, I get love from my family, my members, and fans but I think I don't deserve it."

"You deserve so much more, Binnie."

"No, I-" he stuttered as his tear dropped on the pillow. "I... I told you, you wouldn't understand."

"Why? I think I do."

"Think about it and then you'll realize how different we are in that aspect."

"Binnie-"

"Good night," said Bin and started turning to face the wall.

"Bin, I love you."

Both of them froze. The hearts were beating faster but blood froze in their veins.

"What?"

"Turn your head to me."

And so Bin did. Eunwoo touched his boyfriend's cheek and brushed it with his finger.

"I love you. That's what I said."

"Wow..."

"What?"

"My heart is beating so fast but my brain is refusing to work. So I don't know what to say."

"A kiss will be enough."

And Bin pushed Eunwoo instead of kissing him but the older was quick too, he grabbed the guy by the wrist and pulled him closer, dissolving into a kiss.

'-'

The 10th of September, 2018.

"Good morning."

"Yeah..."

"You're busy?" Asked Bin and heard nothing but laughter. "Hey?"

"Yeah?"

"What are you laughing at?"

"Minhyuk keeps sending memes."

"Oh... you two seem to be close these days."

"Mhm," replied Eunwoo without taking his eyes off the screen and started laughing again.

"Will you show me at least one meme?"

"Nah, it's local, you won't understand," said Eunwoo as he threw his phone on the bed and then left the room. Bin could only let out a sigh. He's not that type of boyfriend who would check someone's phone so he didn't even think of that option. But he really wanted to know what was in Minhyuk and Eunwoo's chat. No, don't get it wrong, Bin trusts his boyfriend and if he said there were memes it meant there were memes.

But since that day, every Eunwoo's morning started not by kissing Bin's nose as he usually did but by picking up his phone and checking the chat with Rocky.

'-'

"Heeeey," shouted Bin as soon as Eunwoo came back home. "I ordered some food."

"Hey, hyung! Check out what prizes I got today," jabbered Rocky as he quickly ran up to Eunwoo on his toes.

"WHAT?! You're leading now."

"I know. You're a looooser."

Bin kept watching those two and lost his appetite. He wasn't jealous but sad. So sad that Rocky has always been there to get Eunwoo's attention. Maybe Bin was exaggerating but he felt like he was thrown away.

"I'll kick your ass," jokingly said Eunwoo, addressing those words to Rocky.

'-'

Five of them were at home early in the morning. Myungjun, Jinwoo, and Minhyuk were sitting in the kitchen, Bin was sitting on the cushions in the living room. At that time, Eunwoo went down the stairs.

"Good morning, Binnie."

"Good morning. Look at these photos I-"

"NO WAY!" Shouted Rocky while staring at the screen of his phone and getting everyone's attention.

"What?"

"Eunwoo hyung!! Oh no..." Rocky didn't say anything else, so the boy ran up to him.

"... I took today." Bin finished his interrupted sentence when Eunwoo left him. He kept looking at the photos with a lot of sadness in his eyes and pain in his heart but then simply locked his phone.

Two oldest members noticed how gloomy Bin was and poke Eunwoo. When they got his attention, Jinwoo pointed his eyes at Bin so Eunwoo turned around and asked what the latter wanted to show him.

"Oh... I deleted the photos already... Just wanted to show you before doing it," said Bin as he smiled, hiding his sadness this way.

But he lied to his boyfriend. He didn't delete those photos of the clouds that had the shape of hearts.

Bin said to himself earlier that he wouldn't be that weak against Eunwoo and would close his eyes to such situations. But Eunwoo and Rocky were spending so much time together that Bin barely saw his boyfriend, not counting that time when they were practicing or were lying together before falling asleep.

'-'

"Eunwoo?"

"What, Binnie?"

"Can we talk?"

"Can it wait till tomorrow? I'm so sleepy."

"I think I made the right decision and shouldn't... Listen, I should prioritize my mental health-" Bin felt a lot of pain in his chest as he was stabbed right into the heart.

"Mhm?" Mumbled the sleepy boy.

"My mental health, as I said. You remember our break, right?"

"Yeah..." Eunwoo's voice was getting quieter with every sound.

"I realized that- No, wrong start. I still love you, and that time we spent together was meaningful and nice but it was like that before I faced another problem so now, when I faced it, I understood that I didn't work on it enough back then, during our break. I was carried away when I said our break was over, and everything was too fast. I need a break again. I know I'm asking too much but can you-" As Bin kept talking, his voice was getting louder and louder... despite that, Eunwoo fell asleep.

Bin noticed it just now and let out a sigh. He was so tired of it. He thought that maybe he was the problem. He did something wrong and Eunwoo paid less attention to him? In the end, he got up, wrote a note, and stick it on the door. Then he went out of the room and decided to sleep on the couch in the living room. Tomorrow he'll leave earlier due to his schedule so Eunwoo won't see him when he reads the note.

————————————————————————
Yes, Binnie is suffering again :(

But thanks for reading and voting! You have no idea how much it means to me <3

Oh wait, I have a question! When I publish changes to a chapter that has already been published before, do you get a new notification? I hope the answer is no but I'm not sure, so tell me, please.