Our way to each other | Binwoo

nine

"You know, everyone was born... people are different. Some of them can't accept something in themselves."

"Why are you saying this?"

"It's why I hate my birthday. And take your hand off me or I..."

He's too close. I want to kiss him. Bin thought. Why so suddenly, Bin?! You know you can't, you just keep killing yourself with such thoughts.

"Or you what?"

"Uh?" Asked Bin with a drop of bewilderment in his voice.

"You said you will do something if I don't take my hand off you."

"Right... If you don't do it, I'll be late for my schedule."

"Where did you go at night?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know."

"I don't know."

"Bin, stop it. You went outside, I heard the front door closing and then the noise in the backyard."

"I can't go for a walk?"

"You can but don't act like you didn't do it."

Eunwoo let his hand down and moved away from the door.

'-'

Everyone except Eunwoo was in the kitchen or the place near the kitchen. The latter went to his schedule earlier in the morning. Rocky and Sanha did yoga. Yes, yoga. Since Sanha asked his hyung to help to improve his flexibility.

"Binnie hyung, you're okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You look like you're about to cry."

"I am. But I just finished my meal and I have no energy."

"What happened this morning?" Asked Jinwoo when he finished washing the dishes.

"Eunwoo..."

"We know it's about Eunwoo... we heard."

"You did?"

And four of them nodded.

"He kept asking about my birthday and other-"

Bin suddenly stopped and felt a lump in his throat. Tears appeared in his eyes, but after a second they began to roll down his cheeks one by one.

The rest of the guys quickly moved closer to him and gave a group hug.

"I thought it would be easier if I tell MJ hyung and then Jinjin hyung. And Sanha, Rocky..." He burst into tears but gathered all his strength to finish the sentence. "You should know too."

The embrace was loosened, the elders made sure that Bin was confident in the decision to tell about it to the youngest boys.

"I love Eunwoo. Not just like, I love him. More than a friend. And I'm sorry if now you see me as a great disappointment, I see myself that way too. But there's nothing I can do about it."

"No, hyung..." Started Sanha with tears in his eyes. "We still love you, right, Rocky?"

"Of course! Hyung, you and me... this can't ruin our friendship after being 5 years together."

"Thank you, guys. I- I mean it. Although-" A sob. One more sob. "Although telling you doesn't make it easier to see Eunwoo with-" The boys hugged him again and let him just cry without finishing the sentence. In the end, he had to stop because they needed to go to the studio.

'-'

Whenever all of them practiced together, Bin felt most depressed, Eunwoo was more serious and angry around Moonbin. He didn't hate his friend, it'd be more correct to say that he was offended. Of course, he understood Bin had his reasons to keep silent about his birthday, but Eunwoo couldn't help but feel sad and angry.

"Eunwoo? Can we talk?"

"Can we sleep in silence?"

"Why are you being like that with me?"

"I'm being me, I'm always like that."

"No, you hurt me."

"You hurt me." Eunwoo's voice rose, became more serious, with this phrase he seemed to put an end to the discussion.

"I didn't want to."

"But that's the result. Good night." Eunwoo was about to turn his body and face the wall but he was topped by Bin's question.

"It's about my birthday? I wish I could tell you. And I will. But not now."

"Fine."

"I hear it's not fine. Don't you have your secrets?"

Eunwoo turned his head in Bin's bed direction. Although it was dark in the room, both of them peered at the small glints of light in each other's eyes.

"I don't," Eunwoo's voice softened. "Because we're close and I trust you."

Those words left a wound in Bin's heart. Why did it sound like the younger didn't value their friendship, didn't trust his friend, though they weren't close enough? Oh, he really appreciated everything Eunwoo did for him. Bin let out the first tear and it flashed in the moonlight.

"Bin?"

He quickly turned away to the wall and tried to restrain the unruly tears that were bursting out, rolling down his cheek and nose.

"Bin?" The concerned voice appeared again in the darkness.

"Leave me."

Bin cried, as silently as he could and it was killing him. He hadn't cried very loudly for a long time, although he really wanted to. He wanted to vent all his emotions and howl in pain. Nobody could understand him, even the members, and the only wish he wanted to fulfill was that the day would come when he could get rid of his pain and worries.

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Don't know about you, but I feel so bad for Bin in almost every chapter :( Maybe I should add positive thoughts hahaha. And this story reached 200 views yaaay. Although the views for every chapter are getting lower and for the previous chapter they literally plummeted😔 I won't stop writing, I'll keep doing it but I hope it won't be for nothing.

And I wonder, is it okay that I update it every 5-6 days? Don't I do this too often?

Anyway, thanks for reading, see you soon <3