"Are you okay?" Someone asked lightly. I stared down at the cup my fingers were lightly wrapped around for a minute before looking up at the bartender.
"Sort of," I mumbled, my voice sounding a bit odd to me as I was basically completely drunk.
"What's wrong hun?" A girl on the side of me leaned over the counter,joining in on our conversation.
I took a large gulp of my drink, it made a clanging sound as it set back down. "Just about everything" I slurred, giving my shoulders a sloppy shrug. "Just about everything." I repeated softly.
We got i to a conversation about life, ups and downs, and I'm pretty sure I over shared, but I didn't really remember that in the morning when I woke up on a couch.
~
"Ugh," I groaned, the bright light shinning into the room pained me. I looked around, quite nervous seeing that I was in such an unfamiliar place. I was so worried about my surroundings, I almost didn't feel my pounding, achy head.
I sat up, squinting my eyes even more as I let out another pained groan.
"Hi," A fairly familiar voice cheered. I looked around the room, my eyes falling on a blurry figure that soon came clear and I could perfectly see Victoria standing across the room from me.
"V-Vicky?" I managed out, raising an eyebrow. She giggled before she was blurry again, than a woman stood in her spot. She kinda looked like me, but she was pretty and fairly old... not really old, like 30, but older than me.
"No silly," The woman smiled softly, walking towards me. The process repeated, the woman became blurry and turned into a man who's eyes reflected mine. He was like an older guy version of me...he looked familiar, but I couldn't get my finger on it.
I raised my eyebrow questioningly, my stomach turning as the man stepped closer and turned into a completely different person. This was Emma now.
She gave me a wide smile that caused wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. "It's you!" She cheered, holding her arms out like she wanted a hug.
I reached for her, more desperately than ever but she disappeared just when my arms should've closed around her. I let out a loud pained cry and fell back on to the couch which reminded me of old people...I don't really know why, but the whole house did.
I began to cry, holding my knees close to my chest and cry. It was hard, feeling all alone and upset. I didn't really know what to do with myself, crying seemed like the only solution. Maybe that lack of tears could dry me out and I'd turn into a raisin and just sit like a lump on this couch, not moving, not breathing.
"You should really leave," A voice came in clearer than anyone else's, "She's really depressed and she doesn't need this..."
"You think we can't see that she's depressed? You think we don't know that? You think we can't see her arms or the pain she shows in her eyes and her voice and that fake smile she thinks everyone believe. Because we fucking see it. We've seen it all and long before you came around."
"Well you haven't been here since than."
"Shut-"
"Shh, you're going to wake her up." Luke? "Don't cry princess, don't cry."
"Don't call her that, you'll just hurt her more. You need to go."
Anthony?
My arms were tightly wrapped around the arms of the person who was holding my face and whispering things I couldn't hear, but just the tone calmed me a bit.
I let out a whimper as I flashed back over everything my mind, realizing the woman and man were my parents and I was in my dad mums house in the dream.
I slowly peeled my eyes opened seeing I was in a living room. Anthony's living room. I was holding on to a pale arm that belonged to Luke Hemmings and four boys stood on the opposite side of the room, closer to the door, but Anthony was kinda in the middle of the room.
"Shh, it's okay. Look, it is. I promise." He whispered, pulling me close to him so my head was against his chest. I didn't understand how I got there, why I was there, or why the boys were there, but I didn't question it. I was in too much pain.
I really wanted to simply just die, but that wouldn't happen with everyone here. Maybe it wouldn't happen at all, even with just me here. As I've noticed from experience, things never go my way.
I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone, so I squeezed my eyes shut and continued to hold Luke well silent tears rolled down my face.
"I'm sorry," I whispered softly, but most likely loud enough for the room to hear. "I wanna stop being a pain, I'm so sorry."
Luke placed his chin on my head.
"If you could stop cuddling with my girlfriend," Anthony coughed from across the room.
Luke tensed, glaring at Anthony. He stood up and moving away making sure to bump Anthony in the shoulder on the way by. I sat up, holding my knees to my chest and staring straight ahead completely unsure of how I felt.
Maybe I didn't feel anything.
That would be good.
Feeling sick anyways.
