There was a knock on the door behind me. I turned, seeing Luke leaning against the door frame. He smiled softly, cocking his head to the side as if he was asking for an invite to come in.
I smiled back, nodding for him to come in.
I moved my things to the side of the bed and sat down, patting it so he'd sit to.
Before he sat he set something in my lap; a notebook and pencil.
I raised an eyebrow, giggling softly.
He sat down, taking the notebook off my lap and grabbing it. Luke smirked at me before flipping it open to a random page and scratching something down with the pencil.
L: We don't need words. Lets write.
I smiled.
B: okay...I'm sorry I'm not talking. It's just easier for me, no body will ask questions if I don't talk.
L: Hey, no apologizing when there's so much we need to apologize for. We completely screwed you over and it was our fault you got taken away.
B: Everything happens for a reason.
L: Anthony?
B: I guess.
L: Yeah.
I stared down a the paper, Luke's hand stopped at the dot, hesitating before he handed that materials back to me. I glanced up at him, a feeling of sorrow building up in my as I saw the pout on his face.
B: I missed you guys
L: I miss you.
Miss.
Missed.
Always a difference.
B: Can I talk to you?
"Talk?" Luke questioned, moving the notebook to the side.
"Talk." I repeated softly, my voice cracking slightly. It was weird hearing my own voice after so long, it was so weird.
Luke grinned, watching as I stood up and shuffled over to the door carefully closing it.
I walked back over to the bed, in which sat in the guest room at Anthony's house; my new room.
I sat down, shyly looking at my hands.
"Are you going to come home with us, Bella? Honestly."
I bit my lip. That's all everyone's wanted to know, all day.
"Luke..." I let out a sigh, biting my nails. Luke grabbed my hand, pulling it away from my mouth and lightly stretching out my fingers. "I-I don't know. Its like-like I'm not part of your life's anymore. Everything feels so different and-"
I couldn't make it past a sentence without breaking down. Luke was quick to wrap his arms around me and hold me tight, but it felt wrong.
"I think I'm gonna have an anxiety attack," I hiccuped, taking a deep breath.
Luke's arm grabbed behind my knees, his other around my shoulders. He listened me up, turning around and setting me on the bed.
"You're fine," Luke promised, "You're just overwhelmed, babe-Bella."
I closed my eyes, pretending I didn't hear anything that came out of his mouth.
I sat back up again, quick enough to make luke jump.
"Do you have a girlfriend?" I blurted out quickly, blushing furiously after I processed what I said.
Luke couldn't help but chuckle slightly, "Well, um, we got a dog...She's a pretty good kisser."
I rolled my eyes.
"I'm kidding, Bells. I mean, we did get a dog! But I'm single....single Pringle!" He sang.
I rolled my eyes, leaning back against the wall on the side of my bed.
Before I could talk again, there was a knock at my door before it swung open.
Anthony stood in the door way, awkwardly rocking on his toes for a second before his feet were completely flat against the ground.
"Lunch is ready," he murmured, his eyes flickering from Luke to me, then back to Luke before he hesitantly backed out of the door way and turned.
I waited until his steps faded away to look at Luke again.
"I didn't talk." I whispered, pushing myself off the bed, "Don't tell anyone I talked."
I disappeared, leaving Luke to follow in my foot steps.
When I entered the dining room Ashton smiled, Michael walking over and grabbing my arm. He gently lead me over to the head of the table and quietly ordered me to sit.
I sat down and soon Anthony brought my food to me before everyone filled up the table and began grabbing their own. Once everyone was settled with the amount of food upon their plates everything was silent....awkwardly silent.
I could hear the clock ticking on the wall behind me. The clock was shaped like a kettle, cranberry colored to match the kitchen, and silver around the rim. It was hanging over my head; the sound it was making annoyed me, but it's not like I could fill the silence.
I missed my old self.
My fort clung loudly against the plate when I accidentally dropped it. My face flushed in embarrassment as quiet giggles filled the small room.
I clumsily picked the fork back up and lightly traced it across the meat that sat on my plate.
I looked up at Anthony when his hand brushed my knee; he was sitting across from Luke and to the side of me.
He gave me a soft smile and nodded towards the food. I sighed, stabbing the fork deeper into the tender chicken before I brought it to my lips and took a bird bite off it.
Stress caused me to feel full all the time, for some odd reason, it just did. My doctor was keeping a steady eye on me at each check up to make sure I wasn't at the start of an eating disorder, but I wasn't.
I wanted to ask questions to the boys. There was a lot of questions I needed to ask, but nothing felt like coming out.
If I talked once, no one would let me stop, except for Luke, but I didn't get to talk to him about everything I would've liked to.
"Eat please," Anthony whimpered softly once Luke had excused himself to the bathroom and Calum, Michael, and Luke were engaged in a conversation.
I looked at him through my eyelashes, then back down at my food.
I gently placed my silverware down and slid back the chair so it made an airy screech on the floor. I picked up my plate and walked it to the trash, dumping the half filled plate into the garbage before putting everything else in the sink.
Anthony followed me over to the sink, his plate basically fully cleared off before he dumped it in the garbage.
"Don't do this to yourself, Bella." He frowned, grabbing my hands.
I smiled softly, raising one finger for him to wait. I quickly pulled out my phone and went into the notes section, typing something up quick.
You care too much, I think it's cute. I'm just not hungry babexx
He sighed in defeat, "You always say that. You're just going to get hurt and that will hurt me, wi you eat something later?"
I rolled my eyes, nodding my head even though it was most likely a lie. I'd been really stressed lately and had a lot more to think about than food.
Anthony gave me a quick side hug before telling me to go sit back down because it was cake time.
