Chapter 21

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WARNING: R-18


"I'm sorry." saad agad ni Zander nang matapos ang halik. Hindi pa ako makagalaw dahil sa gulat at pagtataka na hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na halikan niya. Nagtataka rin ako kung bakit hindi ako nakaramdam ng takot kahit alam ko na hahalikan niya ako. Am I that comfortable with Zander? And did he just confess to me? I'm not dreaming right?


"Zander..." the first word I got to utter.


"Did you feel violated? Did you remember something awful because of my kiss? Don't be afraid. It's me. I don't have plans to hurt you. I only plan to confess. Hindi ko lang din napigilan ang sarili ko nahallikan ka." paliwanag niya kahit hindi ko naman ito hiningi. Naririnig ko lang ang mga sinasabi niya ngunit hindi pa rin ako makareact dahil pinoproseso ko pa rin ang nangyari. A guy kissed me. Can you believe it? I let a guy kissed me and I never felt awkward. Hindi rin ako nakaramdam ng takot nang dahil sa halik niya. What is wrong with me? Why am I reacting this way towards him? Why am I complicating things? Okay sana kung hindi ako nagkiss back, but I did. I kissed Zander back. Hindi ko lang siya hinayaan na halikan ako, hinayaan ko rin ang sarili ko na tumugon sa mga halik ni Zander. Hinayaan ko ang sarili ko na malunod sa sarap ng halik ni Zander. Now, I'm doomed. Hindi ko lang kasi nagustuhan ang halik niya. His kisses make me feel peace and at home. His kisses looks like he's assuring me some safety. And I want that. I badly wanted to feel that safety over and over again. Kaya ko ba talagang hayaan ang sarili ko na namnamin ang sarap ng kapayapaan na hatid ni Zander kahit wala naman itong kasiguraduhan na tatagal. He doesn't know my real identity. But he knows a little of my story. He also understands me even if I can't understand myself. Above all, he gives me peace. With him, I'm not afraid to be me. I can be me. I can truly be happy, sad, confused, or just be genuinely me. Cause with him, I don't need to live by people's expectations. I can be genuinely me. And I love that. I want to risk for that.


"You don't need to decide right now. You can walk at your own pace. I didn't confess for you to say yes. I confess so that my feelings will be heard. I want to be heard. I can't keep it to me myself anymore." he told me as he led me to sit on the love nest.


"Can you love a broken one?" hindi ko napigilang itanong sa kanya.


"Will you let me enter the life of a broken one?" balik naman niyang tanong. Hindi ko tuloy maiwasang tingnan ang mga berde niyang mata. I hope it's worth the risk. I told myself as I nod my head to say yes to his question.


"Thank you for giving me a chance. I won't promise anything because I might break it. But I'll do my best to give you the love that you deserve." aniya at masuyo akong yinakap.


"I'm still not up for relationships." Nahihiya kong saad sa gitna ng yakap niya.


"I know." he said as he break the hug and stand his way up.


"Let's go home." pag-anyaya niya sa akin na agad ko namang sinang-ayunan. Naging tahimik lang rin ang naging lakad namin pabalik nang mansyon nila.


"Good night." saad niya nang makarating kami sa maid's quarter. I decided to sleep here para masanay rin si Macy na matulog mag-isa. I can't be her maid forever knowing that I also need to go back in Davao. Kapag malaman ni Daddy kung nasaan ako ay paniguradong hindi ito magdadalawang isip na pauwiin ako at ikulong ulit na mansyon namin.

Beyond that Darkness (Broken One Series #1)Tahanan ng mga kuwento. Tumuklas ngayon