Forever Is Now

Now What?

Mackenzie | pov

"Please tell me I can come pick you up, right now,"

After driving away from my friends, I call the one person I trust enough to talk to about things that weigh on me this heavily : Raven.

"I'm at home. Come get me girl. "

For a while now, any time either of us needed to get something off our chests, Raven and I would drive to a donut shop. We would devour them and then talk or cry or laugh.

Arriving to her house, she comes out the door and walks towards me. I get out of the car and she already knows that I am not in the mood to drive us. Driving is last thing on my mind right now, I want to be able to put my head against the window and just think. So Raven gets into the drivers seat, while I prepare my playlist. 

"Okay, the Jhene Aiko album today. It's going to be long night?" Raven asks.

I nod my head, "pretty much," she starts driving and I just let my brain think. After a few minutes, I look out the window and see the donut shop "get the dozen glazed donuts, I'm not in the mood for excitement."

I stayed in the car, while Raven went to buy the donuts.  Looking at my phone, I notice a message from Wanye.

You didn't run or cry, I'm proud of you - Wayne

I still left though - Me

Yeah, after you said your piece - Wanye

"Texting Wanye?" Raven asks as she gets into the car. She hands me the box and makes herself comfortable. This parking lot is basically isolated, with only one other car here.

I turn in my seat to face her and bite my delicious treat. "Things got so complicated, so quickly - I am shocked."

"What happened? And From the beginning, girl." Raven is looking at me, I have her full attention.

I take a deep breathe because it's going to be long story. "So, yesterday we hung out for like 2 hours at some park. Everything was going so well, we spoke about a lot of things, there was a lot of touching and we kissed," I can't help the blush that comes on my face but it fades when I remember what happened next.

"You didn't like it?" I guess she's asking based on my expression.

"I liked it, a lot. But I asked him a question I should not have asked. I  asked him what was going to happen when it came to us. He basically told me that he didn't want us to tell any one about what  happened and that we went out. I am basically his sneaky link," I don't want to be hidden. Being a hopeless romantic, what am I going to do with this?

She nods her head and I know she understands. "And you have a probelm with that?"

"At first, I was worried but I didn't think I would feel the way I did today. For a majority of the day, I stayed as far away from him as I could but we were forced into the same space like 30 minutes ago because the Squad had something to tell us," I look at Raven to check that she was still with me, which she is.  "The first thing they do is ask us where we were and I say that I had an interview and don't mention that we were together. Wayne says something about a doctor. They go on to tell me that Monica has feelings for Wayne and she said that there's no way Wayne would like a girl like me. Apparently they got mad over this and start telling her that Wayne and I were dating. At some point during this, Wayne flat out tells them that he is a single guy and that if there was someone in his life, he would tell them about her," I take a bite of my donut as if it could comfort me.

"So that's the part that changed how you felt about being a sneaky link?" Raven asks.

"Yes," that's all I say because she is right. "I felt feelings about it yesterday but to hear him say it, out loud and to our friends, made it real, Raven. To make matters worse, someone had mentioned that I only tolerate Monica and her nonsense because I still care about Daphne. And I was okay with her never finding that out because now I feel like Daphne and I need to have a conversation about what happened. I don't want to,"

Raven speaks, "You need advice or was this just a vent session?"

I look out the window and think for a second. "Just venting, I know what I need to do."

Question is: will I do it?

__________________________________

Please remember to vote and comment.