Not a secret anymore •Marco Reus / Lionel Messi•

Chapter 8

Monday

I was ignoring all calls from Marcel and Robin. Marco hasn't even tried to call me, nor text me. I was even playing deaf so that I won't answer anybody who was at my door. I feel bad. And lonely. I lost Marco. I lost the only man I've loved. I'm thinking if staying in Dortmund is a good idea.

I sat down next to Lena and took a deep breath. She knows about everything. She came at midnight that night just to calm me down. That's what I call true friend. "So, students..." our professor started while looking at some papers. "I am sure all of you have already received a letter from our unversity." he said and I took it out of my handbag to know what he'll be talking about. "There is possibility to study abroad for you. There are cities such as Copenhagen, Madrid, Barcelona, Belgrade and Paris." he said and I looked on what's written there. Success at work included in exams. What? "We aren't pushing you into anything, but we'd like to have a few students that would go there. Explore new things." he said absolutely fascinated and for the first time in a long while I made a quick move. I lifted my hand over my head and he looked at me.

"Questions?" he asked and I nodded. "Yes. I'm just wondering what 'success at work included in exams' means?" I asked and he pointed his finger on me. "Good question, miss..." he stopped. "Oh, Burton. Ana Burton." I said and he smiled. "You're the one who takes only A and B on tests right?" he asked and I nodded with a shy chuckle. Leaving Germany? That..would be great when I think about my current situation. "Well, this means that you would work as a trainee in a hotel and you'd get credits." he said and I nodded. What then? "If you have lots of credits, the exam will...will be just a needed formality." he said and I looked down on my lap. "Ana? You aren't thinking about leaving, are you?" Lena whispered and I looked at her. Why not? "What's the shortest period we can take?" I asked and he looked at me. "I think 3 months." he said and I nodded. "Thank you." I said and he nodded.

I was leaving the classroom when the professor called my name. "Can I help you?" I asked and he smiled. "Well, I was wondering if you're really interested in this?" he asked and I nodded. "Yes, I am. Leaving the country...would do me good." I said and he tilted his head. "Having problems?" he asked and I shook my head. Not at all. "Nothing serious." I said and he nodded. "What city would you be interested in?" he asked and I looked at the paper. The best would be Anchorage, Alaska so I won't have to meet anybody, but... "Barcelona." I said and he smiled. He took something from his desk and placed it on my palm. "Brochure of the school and hotel you'd work in." he said and I smiled. "Thank you, professor." I said and he nodded. "You're very welcome Ms Burton." he said. "Goodbye." I said, but he stopped me. "If you'd want to leave now, because of your problems, I'm here to let you know that it's possible." he said and I raised my eyebrows. "Is it?" I asked "Yes. You'd leave now, in April, and would come back at the end of June." he said and I smiled. "What if I wanna go there now, but also the next year?" I asked and he chuckled. "Are you running away?" he asked. Yes, I am. "Well, it would be possible. You are a clever woman, so it really would be possible." he said and I nodded. "Thank you. I'll let you know by the end of this week." I said and he nodded. "Think about it because once you're there, you can't come back." he called after me. Do I look like I wanna stay? Do I look like I'd be thinking about coming back to a city where a man I love lives? No, I don't think so. I need to get away. I need to leave him behind. Because the pain is getting bigger.

......

"Annie, why?" my mom asked and dad placed his hand on her shoulder. Yeah, I've already told them about Barcelona. And all I get are noncomprehending looks and worried faces. "Mom, it would be the best experience I could ever get." I said and she looked at dad. "Tom, say something." mom said and he shrugged. "She is 23 years old. And I wanna support her." dad said and I smiled lightly. Running away from Dortmund - almost done. "But...what...why?" mom asked and I sighed. I can't tell her that I fell in love with Marco. She would start saying that I can't run away. But I can. I have to or it will end badly for me. "Ana, it's your decision." dad said and mom hugged me. "My baby is leaving." mom said and I felt the tears in my eyes. Marco, can you see what you've done?

.....

This would be the 3rd day of not answering those knock on the door. But I can't do it. I need to be strong. S-t-r-o-n-g. I opened it and there they stood, Marcel and Robin, with pain in their eyes. "You are alive." Marcel said and hugged me. I chuckled sadly at this statement. I will miss them so much. So freaking much. "I am alive." I said and opened the door wider. "I never knew before." Marcel said and I looked at Robin who nodded his head. So Marcel knows too now. "I'm sorry." I said and he hugged me when he spotted the tears in my eyes again. 

"Can I bring you anything?" I asked when they sat down on the sofa. "No." Robin said and I sat down opposite them. Shit. There's the brochure on the table. And...oh no. Robin has just taken it. "Barcelona? What?" Robin asked and Marcel took it from his hand. "University with practice in Barcelona?" Marcel exclaimed while looking at me. "Ana, please, tell me that you're not serious." Robin said and I looked on the floor. I've cried more times than in my childhood recently. "You don't understand what I feel." I said and looked at them through my teary eyes. "I had a friend whom I lost at the weekend over something so stupid as love!" I exclaimed and stood up. "I feel pressure on my chest the whole day! I feel my heart aching and the pain is incredibly powerful!" I said while the tears kept running down my cheeks.

"Marco is sorry for how he reacted." Marcel said and I shook my head. "Then why he's not here?" I asked and he sighed. "Match tomorrow." he said and I nodded. "Sure. Even if he'd be sorry, it doesn't change a single thing! I am not able of looking at him  as I look at you two. I can't see him as a friend. Not anymore." I cried and my weak legs made me sit down on the sofa. "I just can't." I cried and buried my face into my palms. "Annie." Marcel said and wrapped his arms around me. "I'm so sorry." he said and kissed the top of my head. "But why are you leaving? It won't help anything Ana." Robin said and I looked at him. "I need to cope with my feelings and emotions somewhere far away. He doesn't love me. He doesn't even wanna meet me." I sobbed and he shook his head. "Why do you think he doesn't wanna meet you? Probably because he doesn't know what he feels!" Robin yelled. He doesn't? So there's a possibility of him loving me? No. They just wanna make me stay.

"I've already made up my mind." I said and stood up. Stay strong, Ana. "Please leave." I said and they stood up. "Don't do these stupidities." Robin said and walked past me. "Ana, don't leave." Marcel said and I shrugged. "I can't stay." I cried and he sighed. I heard them shut the door behind them. I lowered myself on the floor and cried hard as hell. Why is everything so complicated? A simple 'Let me think Ana' would be definitely better than 'We can't meet anymore'. I wanna leave. I don't wanna feel this pain anymore.

How do you like this chapter? What do you think about it?
Thanks for your votes and lovely comments :-) <3