Hi. I am Ana. Ana Burton and I'm 22 years old. There is still one school year in front of me. I study management. I live in Dortmund and I've got my own apartment. My parents live about an hour from me. And we've just got to the happiest, but also the saddest point in my life - I'm in love with a friend of mine. Yeah. I know it's stupid and if I could take it back, believe me, I definitely would do it. I don't even know when I fell in love with him. But it's been eating my sole lately. Because I'd like to hug him with the feeling that I don't have to hide anything anymore. But that's never gonna happen. Never.
.....
I was walking to my friend's flat. His name is Marcel. If you think Marcel Fornell, then you're right. We've been very good friends since school. And our little group is created by me, Marcel, Robin and Marco. My friend Lena joins us sometimes. But that's not too often. So I spend most of the time with the three of them. Though I'd like to spend more time only with Marco. I hate myself for loving him, but...I can't hide the feeling inside of me anymore. I've been hiding it for a few years now. For about...5 years? Yeah I've been in love with my friend for about 5 years. Nobody knows. At least I think that nobody knows. Nobody, but Sandra.
I knocked on the door and waited for Marcel to open it. He always takes his time. But Marcel wasn't the one to open the door. It was Marco. I started shaking immediately, but had to play it cool. "Hi." I said and walked past him. I took of my jacket and shoes. "Why were you in heels today?" Marco asked and pointed on the leather high-heeled ankle boots I've just taken off. "I felt like it." I said and he giggled. "Annie, Annie." he said and wrapped his arm around my shoulder. "You know that I hate being called Annie." I said. I hate it. But I don't care how Marco calls me. God, why did you let me fall for him? I don't know why, but I'm extremely shaky around Marco today.
"Hi Marcel. Robin." I said and sat down on the sofa. "Hi. How was school?" Robin asked and I shrugged. "Boring." I said with a giggle and Marco sat down next to me. Why? There is enough of space around! "Will we watch a movie or go for a coffee?" Marcel asked and I blushed when Marco pinched my hip. Marco stop or I'm gonna have an emotional breakdown. I'm way too emotional now. "I..I don't have much time. I have to study." I said and was about to stand up when Marco pulled me back. "You're already clever." he said and I blushed. Robin noticed and furrowed his eyebrows. I shook my head lightly and he looked away. If there's somebody who I think knows about my crush, then it's Robin.
I drank the glass of water in the kitchen. I..I needed to leave the living room because I don't know why, but it's difficult to hide my feelings today. I...I should probably go home and sleep. Though I won't sleep the love off, at least I'd have some time without thinking about Marco. I was deep in my thoughts when somebody cleared his throat. I looked at Robin and put the glass away. "Are you okay?" he asked and I nodded. "Yes. Why?" I asked with a giggle and he furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you?" he asked and I nodded. "I'll go home." I said and was about to walk past him when he spun me around. "I don't think you're okay." he said and I bit my lip. He can't find out. Everything would change. Change to worse. "Believe me. Why wouldn't I be fine?" I asked and he sighed. "Okay. I believe you." he said and I smiled.
After walking into the living room I took my phone from the table and walked a bit aside so they could continue watching the TV. "Guys, I'm leaving." I said and turned around. I walked in the hall and put on the shoes and jacket. I need to leave. My heart is too emtional today. Ana you're a mess. Just because you fell for your friend. I opened the door when somebody patted my shoulder. "An, are you okay?" Marco asked and I let out a shaky breath. Tears started forming in my eyes. No. Not now. I always cry at home. Not in front of people. Not in front of Marco. "Yeah." I replied and looked on the floor. He lifted my chin up and I smiled sadly. Don't touch me. You have no idea how big pain you're creating by it. "Ana, has anything happened?" he asked and I shook my head. Ana leave. Now. "I have to go. Studying calls." I said and he sighed. "If you need anything, ring me up." he said. If I need any tissue because my eyes will be covered by water? Okay, I'll ring you up. "Bye Marco." I said and walked away.
I hate it. I hate loving him. Because I know that he will never love me the way I love him. He sees me as Ana. Ana, his friend. Nothing more.
YOU ARE READING
Not a secret anymore •Marco Reus / Lionel Messi•
Fiksi PenggemarLoving your friend is not good. Especially if you've been hiding it for a few years. The cover was made by really talented girl - Marco_Reus_Marcinho