Not a secret anymore •Marco Reus / Lionel Messi•

Chapter 10

Wednesday

I opened the door to be met by Marco. I closed the door and ran down the stairs. This morning can't get any better. I couldn't make my toasts because the machine broken itself. I almost burned my hand with the hot water. I ran into Marco. Why not? "Ana wait!" he exclaimed and spun me around. He held my wrist tightly not letting go of my hand. "Don't leave." he said and I shook my head. Is he really telling me not to leave after I had told him that I've loved him for 5 years? Is he?! "Why?" I asked. "I...I don't wanna lose you." he said and my heart started beating faster. Could...could he develope feelings for me too? "Why not?" I asked hoping to get the most beautiful answer. "I can't lose my friend." he said and no. This is not the answer I've wanted to hear. I shook my hand a bit so he'd let go of my wrist, but he didn't. "Ana don't." he said and I furrowed my eyebrows. What is wrong with him?! "Marco." I groaned and tried to pull away. "It hurts." I said, but his grip got tighter. What is wrong with him? "I can't lose you Ana." he said and I almost started crying. "Let go!" I yelled. He shook his head. "Marco, it hurts!" I cried and got away from him. "Once you tell me that we can't meet and then you tell me not to leave?" I mumbled and he shrugged. "I want you here. As my friend." he said. How dare he say this? He clearly doesn't know how it feels like. "But my heart wants more." I said and ran to my car. 7:45 am. I have to be at school in 15 minutes despite the fact that my mascara is not perfect. Oh God.

......

I knocked on the door and walked in. "Good morning." I greeted the professor and he looked up at me. "Good morning Ms Burton." he said and I smiled. Okay Ana. Say it all loud. "I...I've decided." I said and he nodded. "Tell me then." he said and put the pan on the table. "I...I wanna leave." I said and he grinned. "Okay. That's great Ms Burton." he said and I put the brochure he had given me yesterday on his table. "There's not written where I'll live and what my program will be like." I said and he chuckled. "You're pretty eager miss." he said and I looked down. Yes, I wanna leave. Marco hasn't changed my decision by telling me he wants me to stay. I don't know what he means by telling me to leave him alone and the not leaving. I am leaving. "Well, you will work on Monday and Tuesday. Wednesday and Thursday are occupied by school. Friday and the weekend are free with the possibility you will have to work at the reception on Friday." he said and I nodded. Work? Work as what? "What will be my work?" I asked. "Working on the reception and meeting the manager. And that's your practice." he said and I nodded. "Where will I live?" I asked and he searched for something in the bunch of papers. "This hotel. There will be another 5 students there." he said and I took a deep breath. "Okay. Can I take it?" I asked and pointed on the brochure with the hotel. "Yes, sure." he said and gave it to me. "There's another question. Money." I mumbled and he smiled. "Well, since you will be practicing, that means working, you will get money." he said and I nodded. "Well, I'll let you...let you know soon." I said and he nodded. "Ms Burton, you are one of the best students, I know you can do it." the teacher said and I looked down on the ground. What if I had never told Marco what I feel? What would I be happening by now?

.....

I was walking the stairs til I reached my flat. What are they doing here? "Marcel? M-marco?" I asked and Marcel smiled sadly. "Hi Ana." he said and I opened the door. "Is it true? Ana, are you sure about leaving?" Marcel asked and I sighed. I opened the door wider and turned around. "Come in." I said and walked in the living room. "Ana don't go." Marco said out of nowhere. "Why?" I asked and shot my gaze on him. He looked down just like he's not able to keep the eye contact with me. "Because. I need you. Here." he said and looked at me. I shook my head and stood up. "And I need to go away." I said and he stood up too. "Why?! Why?!" he yelled and I pushed the tears away. "Because I love you! I freaking love you! Do you know how difficult it is?! To be around you, in the same city as you?!" I asked and walked to the hall. "Leave." I said and Marcel shook his head. "No. Ana. Listen." he said and I opened the door. "Goodbye." I said and he walked past me. "I want you to stay." Marco said and rubbed my cheek. "Do you love me? Yes or no?" I asked and he looked down. He shook his head lightly and I slapped his hand off of my face. "Leave." I said and pushed him away. I lowered my body on the floor with my back against the door. If he had just said that he might love me. Might. It would be totally enough. But that was just a sign that he will never love me. Never.