Kissing A Devil (Complete and Continuing In The Sequel)

Chapter 46

Har beet te pal ke saath,
Umeed meri murjha ne lage.
Woh na aayenge mere paas ab
Darr iss baat ki mujhe sataane lage.
Kya itna halka tha,
Yakeen tumhara mujh pe.
Yaa pyar na tha gehra 
Jo mit gaye ek hawa ke jhonke se.

Sidharth keeps running his finger on the rim of the empty glass. He sits on his chair, holding it, his eyes glued on the entrance, his ears waiting to hear her footsteps. 

You knew about this. You knew she would not believe you. Why did you tell her anything?
He had to. She put on her kasam. And this idiot is madly in love with her.
You could have given her the videos and the recordings. Proofs are important.
Why? Can't she trust him? She claims to love him.
She trusts him but Ashmit was her friend. She just wanted to confirm. Didn't you misunderstand her before? You married her only after a huge misunderstanding. Then can't she ask if you are sure about Ashmit or not. Don't jump to conclusions so soon.
Really? He is not jumping to conclusions but she is. She never fell out of love for Ashmit. Sidharth is just her rebound. You are a fool, Sidharth. You really thought that she loved you. No. Nobody loves you. That curse never left you.
Don't listen to him, Sidharth. She has always trusted you. She has always stood by you even after what you did to her. How can you forget how badly you have treated her? She loves you, Sidharth. You aren't cursed.
No she doesn't. She never loved you. You can never be loved. You are a devil. You can be just hated. You are cursed. You will remain cursed..

"Shut up! Just shut up!"
Sidharth screams trying to silence the voices inside his head. 
"I know she loves me. I know it. I am not cursed.. no.. I am not.."
"No.. I am.. not..she..loves me.."
His words trail off and he covers his face with his palms. He shivers out of fear. Fear of losing her forever. He then hears footsteps and wipes off his face with his sleeves.

 "Sidharth Raichand."
He doesn't turn to face her. He keeps holding the glass waiting for her to continue.
"You said, if I trust you, I should come here. Sidharth Raichand, honestly I shouldn't have come. No, not because I didn't have conviction in you but because you always doubted me and my feelings for you. And that's the reason I came. I came here to tell you the same right to your face."
She pulls his arm and turns him to face her.
"It's not me but you who has trust issues. You believe I still love Ashmit. But that's not true."
Sidharth smiles, "Right, still.."
"Shut up! I never loved him. Okay."

Sidharth nods his head and stays silent.
"You said Ashmit wanted revenge from you. He always wanted to. But you didn't tell me any reasons behind it. Fine. I accept he wanted revenge and I was his pawn. I accept everything you said."
"There's a but here. I am waiting, Shehnaaz."
"Sidharth Raichand is a mafia king. He does everything that one gangster does, including killing people. I knew these things. However I also knew your intentions were never bad. My Devil could never hurt any innocent person."
"Cut the crap, Shehnaaz! Say the words. Say you won't believe Ashmit is wrong here. Say the only one bad guy here is Sidharth Raichand. C'mon say it."

"How many times do I have to say that I never believed that you could be wrong? You forgot everything. You forgot I was with you when you were arrested. You forgot I have fought for you. You forgot I didn't even think of looking at the proofs Ashmit tried to give. All these months that we have been together, from the time I have really known you, I only have faith in you that you can't hurt innocent people."
"That conviction has broken. Isn't it?"
"I was just confused as to why you blamed Ashmit. It could be a mistake. That's what I asked. After you left, I thought you must be right. Ashmit has reasons to take revenge for taking me away from him. I wanted to confront him, tell him to stay away from us. And.."
"You called him."
"Yes. I did. And I found out you have kidnapped his mother. Did you really kidnap her? Tell me he is lying."
Sidharth smiles but doesn't say anything.
 "You have kidnapped her. Why?"