Kissing A Devil (Complete and Continuing In The Sequel)

Chapter 61

Sidharth shoves the gun in Rajiv's hand and points his finger on his forehead.
"Shoot me! Right here, between my eyes."
Pulling his shirt, he reveals his bare chest, "Or here. Shoot it here, right at my heart."
"See, no bullet proof vest today. Shoot me. Do it."
"Just pull the trigger and end your hatred now. Do it."
He says placing the barrel of the gun on his chest.
Rajiv just mumbles, "I will.. kill you."

"Do it. Do it Rajiv Ahuja. But remember even if I die right now, you won't gain anything at all. In fact you lost whatever you had. And you will only lose."
Rajiv stares into his eyes that are now red out of anger.
Sidharth continues, "I assure you, Rajiv, you will receive a hundred times more hatred from everyone. From your father, mum and her."
Rajiv's face turns pale as Sidharth says, "I know everything."

He slowly pulls back his hand. Sidharth shakes his head out of disappointment.
"You resent me. I know. But just think again, do you really have a reason for that? You had everything, Rajiv. Everything. A happy childhood, great parents, a secure life. Your parents separated only when you were old enough to understand that they don't want to stay together anymore. And most importantly they never had an ounce of bitterness for each other or you. Neither when they were together and nor when they got divorced."
He takes a step back.
"And look at me. My life has been anything but a curse. You hate me. And you hate me?"

"You deserved it..this hatred.."
"Did I deserve this? No, I didn't. I never did. That new born baby didn't deserve this kind of life. He didn't deserve Raghuvir Raichand as his father. He didn't deserve that kind of pain he had endured all his life. No, he didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve it. Nobody deserves that kind of life."
He runs his fingers through his hair.
"From the day I was born, all I saw was bullets, deaths and fear. Have you seen your family member getting killed? I saw it. I saw my Nanu getting shot at by my own aunt. You know what she did next? She tried to kill me by strangulation. Do you know how old I was? I wasn't even 3 then."

Rajiv stares at him not understanding how to react.
"I was seven when my father made me hold a gun and kill three men who kept me captive. Do you know how it feels when you have blood on your hands? For a seven year old, it was a nightmare."
He stares at his hands that were trembling then. He takes a moment of pause and then says,
"I was supposed to be strong like Raghuvir Raichand wanted. And you know how he made me stronger? He thrashed his whip, his belt on me for every tiny mistake I made. I had spent hours without food and water, locked in the dark basement as I was weak."
Sidharth laughs.
"And you loathe me?"

"My Mumma was the only sunshine I had in my life. She.. (he smiles) was the reason I was still a human after the tortures and trauma that I faced. And one fine day she disappeared from my life. She gave me a choice. I could leave with her or stay with my father. I wanted to leave but I chose him because she had always told me to never leave him. He was.. afterall my father. How could I let him die?"
"I was rude to her. Yes, I was. But I was bitter. For 12 years I fought my fate, surviving each day alone.. Wasn't I supposed to react?"

Sidharth wipes the eyes by the back of his palm.
"Yes, I am a mafia. I have done many bad things. But I never wanted this. Never. I wanted a peaceful and normal life."
He smiles, "But.. I never had the choice."
He pulls out another gun and says, " I was not allowed a pen but this in my hand. I had to kill to survive. I had to because my father was Raghuvir Raichand. But your father is Arvind Ahuja. He.. is everything that I dreamed of my father to be. You never had anything forcefully handed to you. You had his undivided attention, love and care.. Then why did you have to pick the gun up? Why?"
Rajiv lowers his head to look at the gun in his hand.

Sidharth faces him as he stands there speechless.
"I believed all my life that nobody could love me. But I was wrong. I am forgiven, I am loved. By your father, by my mother and Shehnaaz. But for once just think, I had to wait 28 years for this while you had 33 years of love with you. And you still hate me?"
Sidharth gives him a smirk.
"But you don't resent me only for that. I know you can't accept that I am loved. However those aren't the real reasons behind you firing at me. And one of the reasons has the name Bani written on it. Isn't it?"
Rajiv looks up to face him.
"You have known Bani since your school days. It was you who introduced her to Pranab. When she realised your relationship with me, she told you the story of her alleged rape by none other than Sidharth Raichand. And that was the start."