Drunk or Sober

Three Words that Broke Her Heart

Ramona Blake wasn't the type of girl who broke hearts.

She was the one who usually got heart-broken.

That's what I thought about for the rest of the weekend. And in school.

Ramona probably thought she was unworthy of love, or incapable of keeping it.

She probably blamed herself.

And I didn't want her to, I really really didn't. I didn't want the rest of her sophomore year spent in self-pity, but that was my lesser of two evils.

Ramona gets heartbroken, I don't.

Now, you might call that selfish, or inconsiderate, but I was doing what's right for the both of us, that's right.

Why torture myself and Ramona in the next few months to come? Why create a none other than perfect relationship with Ramona, only to rip it away from her and myself in September?

People like me don't get a happy ending.

People like me take the easy way; the path that's smarter, that's painless... the route in which less are hurt at the end.

So I made my bed and now I was going to have to sleep in it.

I remember walking through the front door and Ramona wrapping her arms around my body, concerned. "Where were you, Wes?" She asked.

And I took a seat on that couch we considered ours and told her we couldn't be.

She was quiet, frozen probably, then rushed next to me and asked me what was wrong.

"Ramona, we're what's wrong."

I didn't look at her, or say anymore, until her hands met with mine and our fingers linked.

"You told me you loved me."

"I was drunk." Those were the last words that left my mouth... The last words I'd probably ever have the chance of saying to Ramona. I just wish they had been another three.

She got up and slammed the door on her way out. Her words continued to echo in my head.

You told me you loved me.

It was true, too.

My heart belonged to Ramona Blake.

But you know that quote, right? The one about letting someone go if you love them, well, that's what I did.

I stopped sleeping. And eating.

Some days I felt nothing, others I felt everything.

I skipped school Monday. I didn't want to see her rushing to class or walking with Harleigh.

On Tuesday, it rained. The day was slow. At the end of it, I got in the car, as did Lennox, and she immediately turned on the radio.

The generic pop song that earned its way on every station.

The song Ramona screamed and danced to, the song we heard when she was close enough to kiss me. Our song.

God, it was always on.

I didn't even like it. I didn't like it at all, actually. But Ramona did, and I liked her. I could feel her lips pressed against mine. She was right there with me again.

Lennox was staring at me frozen. "Wes?"

I pulled my key out of the ignition. The music stopped.

And even though I didn't particularly care for that song, I didn't turn it off for that reason.

I turned it off because the only thing more painful than listening, would be reliving the night that was laced within its stupid lyrics, realizing Ramona probably won't listen to that song again.

She'll probably switch the station when it comes on, and vow to never listen to it again, swearing she hates how popular it's gotten. She'll deny ever liking it, just like she'll deny ever liking me.

I ruined that song for Ramona, and every time she does hear it, she'll remember me teasing her, and the color will drain out of her rosy cheeks, and she'll think: God, I hate that boy.

"Wes? You okay?"

"Oh, uh, yeah."

"Are you sure? Look, I know something's going on with-"

I put my palm on my forehead. "Don't, please."

"If you want to talk, you know-"

"Not now, Lennox."

"You can't expect me to dig you out of this freaking grave you dig yourself if you won't even tell me what's wrong, Wes! My best friend, probably my only friend, she's miserable! She won't talk about it. I mention your name, she turns away. And you- you're distant! You don't come down for dinner; you stay in your room all day... You won't tell me anything anymore, you-"

"Lennox, I'm sorry. You wouldn't-"

"Oh my fucking God. You and everyone else, you just treat me like I'm some dumb little kid. I'm not. You think you're the only one that goes through-"

"I don't!"

"Then, talk to me! Tell me what's wrong!"

"I chose the easy way."

"You chose what?"

I put the key back in the ignition and started to drive. "Long story short, I'm with Harleigh again."

She sat back in her chair, her eyes looking out the window. "But I thought you loved Ramona."

"I can't do love right now."

"So instead you go off, use Ramona, and then end up with Harleigh? What kind of love story is this?"

I narrowed my eyebrows. "The kind without a happy ending. Life isn't like fairytales, Lennox."

She crossed her arms. "Yeah, not with that shitty attitude you put up. I'm just saying, it's not too late to make things right."

I sighed. She was right, but it didn't mean anything anymore. Ramona and I were done.

She was the only girl I wanted to talk to, though. The only girl I wanted to be with.

///hocos in tres dias babies whos pumped 4 da dramz ps thinkin bout doin a spinoff of nennox or a prequel of harleighkinz but idk//