Drunk or Sober

Camilla, Violet, Arabella, and Finn

// back to wes pov/

SUNDAY 3/28

I don't really have a clue as to why Ramona and I were still here, but something about it seemed right, so we decided to stay until tonight.

And even though Ms. Kat finally realized we had never broken someone's bones like Rosie, tied a rope like Wyatt, or even had an alcohol addiction like Harleigh, she understood our support and invited us back any time, so long as we came back as visitors in her hospital, not patients.

We agreed to visit Harleigh almost every day; she had to stay for a few more weeks until completely discharged. I thought about how different school would be, and how boring my Friday nights would now become.

At least I had Ramona, and still, we could always head back here and reunite our band.

Ms. Kat invited us inside and Ramona and I attended our final group therapy session, that is, wearing white hospital bracelets of our own.

Something about wearing them made me feel like I was mocking the real patients here, but Ramona reminded me that everyone had problems, whether you had them diagnosed from a doctor or not.

I took the same seat I had last time and waited for Ms. Kat to whip out the magic talking stick and ask how everyone was doing.

"So, good morning everyone! How are you all today?" She grinned, waving the stick. We all replied 'fine' together. "We're going to talk about something different today. About the future; your hopes and dreams, or really anything you want to accomplish. Anyone care to go first?" We all stared around at each other.

What did I want for the future anyway?

"I'll go." Harleigh said at once, and everyone turned their head in her direction. Did "I Know I Don't Belong Here" Harleigh just say she'd go first?

"Excellent! Thank you very much for volunteering, Harleigh. I know talking about the future may seem scary for some." Ms. Kat said, passing her the stick. Harleigh sat there in silence for a moment.

"I wanna be someone my future children look up too." Harleigh looked down at the ground and spoke softly. "Someone who genuinely cares for others but is stronger than a pushover. Someone who can love herself without that being in vain. Someone who gives more than they take and always sees the good of a bad situation. Someone who strives to be a better person every day. Someone inspiring, strong... Point is, when they ask me what kind of person I used to be, I don't wanna tell them the truth; that's what I'm getting at. I don't like how I am right now, and even when I told myself I did, it never felt true... If that makes sense. But yeah, I wanna be a better person, a better version of myself, and have a family. I want a little girl and boy, and I always want to be able to spend time with them. I want us to be close- and well, that'd be perfect."

"That's very beautiful, Harleigh, and very achievable." Ms. Kat smiled.

Harleigh sighed and was unsteady in her chair. "I'm..." She finally looked up at Ms. Kat, as if it were only the two of them in the room. "...pregnant. And I, uh, almost lost the baby. It's made me realize how selfish and cold I can actually be, but I wanna change, I really do. I just hope I can change- and uh- yeah."

A single tear rolled down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away. I had never seen Harleigh so... vulnerable, so shy, so... open.

Ramona wrapped her arm around her shoulder.

"You'd be a great mother. You already are an incredible person." Ms. Kat consoled, handing her a tissue. Everyone else in the room stayed silent. Harleigh have the stick back and I sat there, not focusing on what I wanted to say about my future, rather thinking about Harleigh's. And Ramona's. And everyone's but my own.

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"Where do I see myself in a couple of years?" Wyatt placed his index finger on his chin and looked up. "Easy. And simple, actually." He smiled charmingly at us- his audience- and leaned forward with the stick in his hand. "Rich Husband, a hot doctor if possible. Mansion. With three sports cars and a minivan for the kids; three girls, one handsome boy; Camilla, Violet, Arabella, and Finn." He laughed to himself which prompted everyone else to laugh with him. "No, but I'll be serious, for Ms. Kat's sake. It doesn't matter if I get any of those things. What I want most, and what I hope for; is happiness. I wanna be happy. That's what I want for my future." He passed the stick to Rosie. "I obviously gotta give this to my girl. Good luck going after that one." He winked at her and she punched his arm and laughed.

It was nice to see how they found each other while they were both at their worsts. It's really nice to have a friend like that; I always wished I had that.

"Well... In... You know what? I'll give you a number. In ten years- so I'd be twenty-five- I wanna be a pediatrician, and specialize in children with special needs, 'cause they need love too. I wanna have a bakery with Wyatt and Isaac. And... a Husky! And a German
Shepherd... lots of puppies too. That would be great." She giggled and used her hands to tell Isaac her story too.

Wyatt killed himself later that night.

He took a running jump out of one of the windows on the floor, leaving behind nothing but an empty bed and a journal.

Ramona and I were already home and in bed when Harleigh called me in tears. It was three in the morning when I left my house and drove to the hospital. Police cars enclosed the place; nurses and doctors were in a frenzy.

When I asked an officer what happened, he told me a boy had taken a plunge off of the fourth floor. I didn't want to believe it was Wyatt.

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It was quiet.

The whole floor was dead silent, and it wasn't until I walked into Harleigh's room that I realized the entirety of patients on this floor- the so-called mental floor named by Nurse MJ- weren't here.

So I walked around.

I came across Wyatt's room.

His roommate was Rosie. He had stuffed animals around his bed, as did Rosie. He had posters of bands and actors hung along the side of his bed, and Get Well Soon cards laid at his bedside table. He was, for the most part, normal.

Wyatt deserved more.

Everyone here deserved more.

Wyatt was supposed to be happy. He was supposed to have a mansion, a husband, kids... He was supposed to get his happily ever after. He was supposed to be alive... be here still. He deserved at least that.

Life isn't fair.

//ouch oH NO

rest easy angel; you deserved so much more precious