Drunk or Sober

Choose Yourself

SAME DAY - STILL RAMONA'S POV

Ryder knocked on my door. "Mona, you okay?"

"Oh, um, yeah." I said, sitting up against my bed frame and clenching my teeth.

"Can I come in?"

I sighed and opened the door.

He took a step in and closed the door, glimpsing at the scattered broken glass, and then at my crimson-stained knuckles.

"Oh god, Mona, what happened?" He sat at the edge of my bed and grabbed my hand to examine it closer.

"Can I ask you something?"

"What's up?"

"Why'd you and Harleigh break up?"

He sank back against my bed frame. "How come?"

"It's just a question,"

"You wouldn't understand."

I glared at him. "I probably understand a lot more than I come across."

He sighed and looked around the room, just like Wes would have. "Harleigh used to be this good girl, I guess. She didn't drink, didn't smoke, she even hated parties. But I guess she figured she'd make something of her senior year, so she started hanging around me, right? I got her hooked on Friday nights like it was alcohol, and man, did she get addicted. She pretended Saturday and Sunday nights were still Fridays too. She got obsessed with this other life of rebelling and it got to the point where I'd come over on a Wednesday and she was already downing bottles of liquor just like she'd do on a Friday. She wasn't herself anymore. I couldn't just watch her throw away her life in spite of me. So I broke it off; I broke it off so she could get better."

"Just so you know, she got worse." I muttered.

He brushed his hair back and looked frustrated. "I get that Ramona. I get it. I ruined her but I don't feel guilty about it. You can't blame me for the choices she made after I broke up with her."

His hands were shaking and he bit his lip.

"Ryd, I-I didn't mean it like that. It's okay."

I looked at him and hugged him. He wasn't a monster for leaving Harleigh. He was just misunderstood.

"It's not my fault."

"I know, Ryder. I know it's not."

We sat there quietly for a moment.

"You're hand's dripping all over your sheets."

I looked down at my right hand and laughed.

"We should probably clean that up." He pointed to my dresser. "And that too."

"Thanks, Ryder."

"Anything for my baby sis."

I narrowed my eyebrows and kicked his foot. "Don't ever call me that again."

Ryder let go of Harleigh so he wouldn't have to watch her ruin herself.

I guess sometimes people have to do what's best for them. It's okay to think about yourself for once; it's not selfish.

I didn't have to choose between Wes or Lennox or Harleigh. I could choose myself.

But what did I want?

////a chapter based on getting 2 know the true ryds///

///sorry if it's a lil boring it's mostly a filler///