Drunk or Sober

Love You Not

///trigger warning??///

MORNING

"Wes... The door... Wes." Ramona's sleepy, half-awake low murmurs woke me up. She was laying in between my arms.

I got off our couch and realized the room was still almost completely dark; every window in the vicinity had been draped with a blanket. I wondered why before opening the door.

Sun pierced my eyes and I had to blink a few times to even remotely catch a glimpse at who stood in front of me. Did I sleep for the rest of winter?

"Wes, we need to talk."

I cleared my throat. "Harleigh?"

"And you're Wesley! Glad we know our names, c'mon." She grabbed my wrist.

"Where are we-"

"Just get your shoes."

I was in my boxers, a college sweatshirt, and quickly grabbed a pair of slippers and my phone while Harleigh honked her horn outside in her car.

I ran out and got in the front seat, rubbing my eyes to make sure this was even real.

"Harleigh, what do you-"

She slapped me. Like actually slapped me. Pretty hard, if I must.

"Did you fuck her?"

"Ow! What?" My own palms brushed along my jaw. Jesus Christ, I really need to be more aware whenever Harleigh's pissed at me.

"Fucking tell me, Wesley!" She honked her car horn in frustration.

"No, Harleigh! Are you fucking insane?"

She backed out of the driveway and rolled her eyes. "Can't even fathom you're one of those assholes who cheat."

Harleigh Wren Queen was nothing but a fucking conniving, self-obsessed bitch that created this lifelong mirage of wholesome, sweet Apple pie and pure delight.

Pardon my French, but she was full of fucking shit.

I couldn't help but laugh. She was so twisted. She was so pathetically full of herself she didn't recognize she was the villain. She was the one at fault, Jesus Christ, Harleigh.

"What's so funny?"

"You. Harleigh, you're funny."

"The fuck?"

"You're so manipulative, you know that? You have Ramona and I both feeling so damn sorry for your ass, when you're the one fucking Bennett, fucking Ryder, lying, using-"

She pulled over behind a Walmart. "We're over."

"Glad you feel the same as I do. Now, if you don't mind, you can drive me back to my own freaking house."

I wasn't scared she was going to hit me or make me walk home. I wasn't scared at all, actually. I kind of wish she did one of those cruel options other than her actal response.

She grabbed the collar of my sweatshirt and her lips collided with mine.

Every inch of my body tensed and I tried to pull away, I even grabbed the handle of the door; it was locked, and she put her hands under my sweatshirt and bit my lip.

"Har-Harleigh- stop." I mumbled between her impulsive kisses. She was aggressive.

The thing is, I'd enjoy this a lot more if I actually liked Harleigh. I could barely tolerate her at this moment; and her trying-to-win-me-back-with-sloppy-sex in-a-cluttered-car-behind-a-Walmart-while-she-knew-I-loved-Ramona getup didn't qualify as some power move in winning me back. Just seemed desperate.

She moved on to my neck, and even started placing my hands under her shirt. Evidently, I resisted.

"Harleigh, stop."

She advanced to my inner thighs.

"No. Stop."

She left a trail of scarlet love bites alongside my neck.

"Please. Harleigh stop."

My hands wandered aimlessly at my sides. I thought about gently brushing her off of me, but who knows what stunt she'd pull next. Having a domestic violence charge added on my résumé didn't seem like one Mrs. Blake could easily acquit me from.

Her stray hands slid under my boxers.

And that's when I pushed her arm away. She looked confused, embarrassed, even outraged. I was still unaware of how to properly react.

"Harleigh... I-I'm sorry."

"Get out of my car."

"I'm so sorry."

She wouldn't look at me.

I got out and began walking home.

I didn't want to have to get physical. But she made me uncomfortable. She made me feel like an object. Like I was only there to suit her personal needs. I wasn't going to let Harleigh just take what she wanted.

I wanted to be happy that Harleigh and I were finally over, right? But I couldn't shake this feeling- this feeling of weakness; something felt wrong. I didn't know how to react.

Was I even supposed to be with Ramona? I mean, of course I wanted to. But was it right? Was I moving too fast for her? Was she even ready to date me? Was she over Bennett?

Maybe this was wrong.

Everything leading up to right now had to be wrong, right? I'm supposed to be with Harleigh. She's my age... She's graduating too. She doesn't mind having a little fling with me. Then after graduation, I don't have to see her again. I wouldn't have to remember any of it.

But Ramona was so different, so complicated. If I was with her, you know, really with her, it'd be hard to say goodbye. I'd have to leave her. It'd mean the next five months that I'd unavoidably spend with her, would come to an end. Summer days would get shorter, and one day she'd be worrying about being a junior, I'd... Well, I'd be hundreds of miles away.

Could I even handle that?

I looked at my phone and searched for the number while my hands trembled, millions upon millions of questions still soaring and roaring through my head.

"I want to be together."

I could hear breathing on the other line.

"I knew you'd eventually see it my way."

"I love you, Harleigh."

"I know you too."

****fuck man im even a wreck after writing tht hbu****