Our Daughter- A DEMPEO Story.

Goodbye

Summer 2020

"Are you sure?" Asked Sandra Oh as they finished their hike.

"Yeah" Ellen said softly as she leaned on her car.

"After the last phone call we had five years ago, I was so hurt. But I understood, he needed to protect his family"

"But you weren't just hurt Ellen, you were devastated. I honestly really hate for you to go through that again, I mean, if he comes back on the show, you are going to be kissing him and who knows, bring all those emotions back!" Sandra leaned closer to her.

"He is actually going to be dead if he comes back" Ellen laughed.

"Wait, what?" Sandra replied.

————————————————————————
2011

"Okay, which one, this yellow one or the blue one" Ellen asked as she grabbed each jumper from the hotel bed.

"You really think our 4 year old is going to wonder why her mom is wearing the blue jumper as opposed to the yellow one?" Patrick narrowed his eyes, exasperated and sunk more into the couch.

"Yes, she's my daughter , she will notice" She grabbed the blue jumper and started to change.

As he saw Ellen get ready, Patrick couldn't put his mind at ease. Normally, for the past four years, this was the thing he looked forward to the most. Not only would he and Ellen be together for the weekend, but they would see their sweet baby. They would chat all weekend about how big she had gotten, who she looked more like and experience the "what if" for a few hours. However, this year felt different and he couldn't shake away his thoughts.

"Baby...." Patrick said with sadness in his voice. As he peeked into the bathroom

"Yeah, almost done, ugh my hair is so not wavy enough" Ellen tried to put the rollers on again.

"Hey, so, I was thinking, do you ever wonder what she thinks of us?" He sighs deeply.

" You know, she is getting older"

Ellen stopped and looked at Patrick from the mirror.

"What do you mean?" She turned hard towards him.

"Baby, she's getting older, she's going to start asking questions. What if we confuse her, what if she resents us or ....." He grabbed his head and a worry look dawned over him.

"Is that why you've been so serious?" Her eyebrows got narrowed.
"Because the minute we got on the plane, you've been distant, even annoyed"

Patrick walked over to the bed and sat down as he looked at her.

"I am frustrated" He said softly.

Ellen walked over to him and sat on his legs, she wrapped her hands around his neck.

"We agreed to an open adoption, you were so excited about it, remember?" She kissed him.

"Yeah, but baby she's getting older, I am worried we are going to confuse her and look at today, what do we say, hi we are strangers just bringing you gifts" Patrick vibrated with anxiety.

"I am frustrated because I want to see her but I don't want to hurt her" His eyes welled up with tears.

"We won't" Ellen replied as she leaned over to hug him and kiss him on his cheek.

That afternoon, they spent their day at the park chasing their daughter, playing marco polo and racing each other down the slides.

Two hours later.

"You want to play tomorrow?" Emma grabbed Ellen's hand.

Their time was up.

"Actually, we have to fly to our house tomorrow morning, we live very far away" Ellen knelt down. She pushed her daughters hair back.

Patrick knelt down too.

"We actually just wanted to come see you today and see how big you've gotten"

"Last time I saw you, I was here and now I am here!" Emma replied as she showed them her growth with her fingers.

"You remember the last time we were here?" Patrick chimed in.

"Yeah! You gave me that big doll house!" Emma jumped with excitement.

Ellen's eyes filled with tears.

"Why are you crying? Are you sad" Emma asked as she leaned over to get closer to Ellen's face.

"I am not, I am just so happy to see you and guess what!" She wiped her tears and smiled.
"It's time for you to go home so you can play with the new present we got you, you loved the last one so I can bet you will love this even more!"

"Okay, maybe you can come over and we can keep playing?" Emma looked at her adopted dad as he yelled, " It's time to go!" from the entrance of the park.

Ellen and Patrick looked at each other.

"You actually have to go with your dad and we have to go pack, but it was really great playing with you today" Patrick said as his voice cracked.

"I had a blast!" Emma leaned over and grabbed his face. She rubbed his cheek and smiled at him.

"I will see you next time!" She jumped onto Ellen's arms with excitement to say goodbye.

Ellen held her tightly, smelling her hair and trying her best to remember that moment.

Emma let go and leaned over to Patrick. He picked her up and swung her around.

"Ahhhhh!" Patrick shouted. His smile broaden from ear to ear.

"You are funny!" Emma laughed and waved goodbye as she ran to the car.

No matter how much Ellen and Patrick wanted to be in Emma's life, they both knew they couldn't keep interrupting her life. They waved goodbye from a distanced and turned to cry together after the car was no longer visible. They needed to let her go.