(𝟮.𝟮) 𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐄𝐃𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 ➣ {𝕪•𝕓} ❘ [𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖈𝕶𝖜𝖎𝖉𝖔𝖜 𝖝 𝖗𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗]

ミ✧𝖇𝖔𝖓𝖚𝖘 𝖘𝖈𝖊𝖓𝖊 : 𝖙𝖋𝖆𝖙𝖜𝖘 : ʟᴏsᴛ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ✧彡

"Whatever happened with Walker," Bucky spoke as he held the shield in his hand, "It wasn't your fault, Sam."

Sam nodded at his words, approving him to continue as he spared a glance down at the shield.

"It's just, that shield's the closest thing I've got left to a family. So when you retired it, it made me feel like I had nothing left. Made me question everything. Steve, You, Me. I've got this uh, I've got his book," he said, waving it in the air to show, "And, uh, I figured if it worked for him, then it'll work for me."

"And I understand, man," Sam nodded, "But Steve's gone." Bucky let out a long breath. "And this might be a surprise, but it doesn't matter what Steve thought," he launched the shield and caught it again with ease, "You gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are," he swung the shield at a tree trunk and Bucky caught it again, "Let me ask you," Sam folded his arms, "You still having those nightmares?"

"All the time," Bucky replied honestly, "It means I remember. It means a part of me is still there. Which means the part of the Winter Soldier is still in me,"

"You up for a little tough love?" Sam's voice broke into this thoughts, "You want to climb out that hell you're in, do the work." Bucky sighed. "Do it."

"I've been making amends."

"Nah, you weren't making amends, you were avenging. You were stopping all the wrongdoers you enabled as the Winter Soldier because you thought it would bring you closure. You go to these people and say sorry because you think it'll make you feel better, right? But you gotta make them feel better. You gotta go to them and be of service. I'm sure there's at least one person in that book who needs closure about something and you're the only one who can give it to 'em."

"Probably a dozen."

"That's cool. Start with one,"

Bucky jerked his head to the side, "Even if I do, I won't able to reach the person to who I owe most apologies."

This made him frown, "What do you mean?"

"Y/N," he replied timidly, knowing that Sam was still sensitive about that topic.

Sam stiffened, his lips pressed into a thin line when his heart tugged sharply. His mind clouded with memories of her on the battlefield— Reuniting with her after five years and the kiss they shared was so pure and full of emotion that he almost forgot they were on a battlefield; Her deciding to make the ultimate sacrifice; Joanna and Peter kneeling in front of their mentor with broken hearts and tear-streaked faces, not caring about their injuries; Tony barely having a hold on his emotions when he sees his best friend seconds away from death; Clint not being able to do anything about the death of both his best friends; Y/N eyes gathering tears not because of the excruciating pain she was going through, but because she felt bad for leaving Sam. For abandoning him. To get him back, only to leave him.