If I could be anywhere else in the world that's where I would be. Instead of here.
Which is at a breakfast date with my husband. My husband who had an emotional affair with another parent in my son's Kindergarten class.
We've been separated for a couple months and one of our assignments had us to meet with each other. After no contact for months
Sitting down I removed my sunglasses and went straight to looking at the menu. "Um you look very beautiful Miranda." I heard Tucker speak.
I looked above my menu at Tucker and I sat it down. I folded my hands together and sat forward. "Why thank you." I smiled. Forced
I'm aiming for an eloquent breakfast. Not here to make a scene.
Once our waiter brought out the food, I began eating. I grew quite the appetite getting ready for this occasion.
"Okay ummm well thank you for meeting with me today. You didn't have to, but you did so I appreciate you." Tucker reached over the table and held my hands in his.
Previously in my younger time I would've caved. Forgiven him and moved on. But times have changed.
I removed my hand from his grasp and sat back in my chair. Correcting my posture while looking at him.
"You know I came here because you wanted to speak your peace, yet I've heard no peace being spoken of." I cleared my throat and folded my hands together waiting.
"Yes well as you know we have been dealing with some tough times between us. You know within our marriage." Tucker signaled from the both of us.
"Wow that drink is good!" I sipped from my fruity margarita and talking to myself. I sat it down and brought my attention back to Tucker
"No, I wanna hear what you did. Because I can distinctively remember you and Tami123. That's all I can remember when I look at you." My face frowned.
Looking at my plate I hadn't touched my toast. I took the butter knife and smeared a fine layer of Grape Jam on the bread.
As I stared at this knife I couldn't stop thinking about what if this jam was Tuckers blood. His blood dripping down the knife as it stuck out the side of his neck.
No I couldn't do that. I blinked those thoughts away as my attention went to Tucker.
"Okay. I met t-tami at a parent teacher conference. You couldn't make it and she thought I was a single dad." I rolled my eyes.
"We had a great talk that day. We exchanged numbers and went our different way. The teacher made a group meet app for the parents and Tami was in there. So we hit each other up via email."
"You emailed her because you knew it was wrong. She should've seen you were married by the ring... if you had it on. Why didn't you phone message her? I can tell you why... you didn't want me finding out because we would be in the same place we are now. Except it's ten times worse now than if I would've known the day you met her."
I spoke to no one in particular. Just mindful thoughts that came out verbally. Tucker shook his head and shrugged his shoulders.
"We we're at a bad time. I was alone and you were always working. You didn't have time for me or your son. So I found entertainment somewhere else." Tucker whispered to not get loud.
"Oh you were alone?! Have you ever thought maybe I was alone! I'm the one working the helpless hours trying to support my family at home. Meanwhile there was outside support coming in from you! I wanted to be there for my son but I had to sacrifice. You sacrificed nothing! You know you did wrong!" I slammed the table.
I got a little loud. But I collected myself and looked around because we were being eyed.
"Look I'm sorry. I was being selfish and my personal feelings got in the way. My judgement was clouded. We have to let that go in order to move forward. Yes I made a mistake but you can't keep holding that against me!" He sat up in the chair.
"Not hold it against you? It's all I think about when I see your face! Being here today has not helped me want to work it out with you." I shrugged.
"Baby I promise you. Just give me one more chance." Tucker walked over kneeling in front of me.
I looked at him and didn't feel an ounce of remorse or sadness. I just felt bad for him. He would rather stay in a lonesome marriage than to be free and happy. Why backtrack when you already did what you did.
"Tucker. I loved you. Then... But now I have to learn how to not hate you. When I read those emails, I felt disgusted and betrayed. I felt all the things a wife shouldn't feel from someone she loved." I turned my body to give my full attention to what I was about to say.
I saw he was emailing another woman before he snatched his laptop and yelled at me for going through his things. He lowered his head shaking his head no.
"In those emails you spoke about the things you wished and dreamed for. What you wanted for yourself, which in the end wasn't me... or your family. And it's funny because I never stopped you from finding your dreams. You did and I was being faulted for it. But I stuck through it with you."
"You didn't stick through it with me though. And that's okay because I will be fine, our baby will be fine, and you will be fine. You found your dreams and I found mine too." I smiled as I began to feel so much better.
"You said some vile things about me in those emails. And I would've never done that to you. So later in the week I will send those divorce papers and you can be free." I put my sunglasses on.
"In the end it taught me to never stay in a situation unfulfilling of my energy. I found myself and now it's time for me to go."
I stood up and began walking away when I heard Tucker running after me. "Miranda wait! Please! You can't do this. You can't end us." He begged.
"You already ended us Tucker. I'm just finishing it up for you. Hell maybe Tami123 will hit you up and you can go on a real date like in those messages. Goodbye Tucker."
I pulled out of his grasp and walked to my car. I hopped in and surprisingly I felt free. So I popped some music on and drove off.
I went straight to the mall and did some therapy shopping. I bought new under clothes, more sexier outfits, and more items.
Walking out a store I bumped into someone and some of my backs fell. "Dammit! Hey I'm I'm sorry." He kneeled down picking my bags up.
The last bag the stranger handed to me and looked in my eyes. He was very handsome. I held eye contact before saying a simple thank you and walking away.
"Hey wait up!" I heard behind me. I tried walking faster but a hand sat on my shoulder and turned me around.
"You are extremely beautiful. I'm Benjamin and I would love to take you out for dinner tonight?" He held out his hand.
"Hello Benjamin and I will take you up on that offer." I smiled and he reciprocated the action. We talked about plans as we walked to our cars and departed ways before regrouping later.
