Our Sinful Love | TaeGyu AU✔

"a mess"

The gloom and fear were like a thick cloud in the air that made it hard for him to breathe, locking him tight against his seat as he tried not to make any noise. A sense of suffocation was creeping into his lungs like a poisonous serpent as his heart thumped loudly in his chest, his breaths coming out shorter and faster as if they were being taken by force. He couldn’t control himself. His mind was racing faster than ever and he was unable to calm down from this anxiety.

"Are you ready?", the doctor asked him with a kind smile on his face, one that seemed too forced to be true.

Taehyun looked up at him through his long lashes, his blue eyes totally blank and cold even though he was having to deal with too many emotions at the moment. He couldn't help but let all the bad memories flood over his mind and overwhelm him like a tidal wave that threatened to drown him. He didn't want this. He didn't want to be in that cursed room once again after nine fucking years and wait for an MRI scan to reveal some horrible shit or how fucked up his mental state was again. He just wanted to sleep and forget everything, forget about it all, his whole life, the way his father treated him in the past; how he felt forgotten every time he was having to cry in loneliness and silence. He wanted to forget the feeling of being completely invisible and abandoned to fate; the feelings of guilt that were so strong they almost suffocated him whenever he remembered those times.

Right now he was broken and scared beyond belief, terrified by how it all looked like he was going back to that dark place where no light ever shined, where he had lived for years. He could see his old rooms again, all the memories of his past resurfacing with a vengeance, but all his expression showed was coldness and emptiness, even some hint of resentment in the depth of his orbs as if he was angry at everyone for doing this to him.

"Mom, I'm scared", 12 years old Taeyong whispered to her mother with tears in her velvety eyes as she sat on the edge of the MRI machine, her bare legs hanging off the side, bouncing nervously like she wanted to jump off from the table and run away, hide somewhere safe.

Her mother smiled kindly at her as she kneeled in front of her daughter, taking her small hand in hers and squeezing softly as if reassuring her child that she was safe with her; that everything would be fine.

"I know, sweetie, but you're going to be okay. I promise"

Taeyong sniffled slightly, wiping her tears away, "I really don't wanna die, mom"

Jiwoo's eyes widened instantly at her words. She shook her head vigorously while still holding her little daughter's hands and shaking them gently, "No baby, you won't die. Don't say those stupid things, please. Please don't think like that. Everything will be alright. You trust me, right?"

Taeyong bit her lip, letting the tears fall freely from her large teary eyes which reflected the light of the room and glistened beautifully, like the moonlight that shone from the windows outside.

Then She nodded lightly before looking up, smiling weakly at her mother, "I'm sorry.."

Taehyun's fingers gripped the edges of the table tightly as he sat on the MRI machine, feeling the familiar pain in his chest and stomach as his throat kept tightening uncomfortably. The darkness around him was starting to swallow him whole. The lights above him were flashing. Everything was happening so quickly and he couldn't process anything properly. There was a buzzing sound surrounding him. Everything sounded muffled and distorted like it was coming from underwater.

"Taehyun?"

The voice of the doctor echoed loud and clear in his ears, making him flinch and look up immediately to meet his gaze once more, however, the man's smile did nothing but make the ringing in Taehyun's ears grow louder, and he even hallucinated that the lights above him turned red, flickering, turning the atmosphere darker and more menacing.