Oceans In My Mind

This Isn't Home

Im so fucking sick and tired of feeling alone
I cling to every touch and sensation as if its the only home I've ever known
Grabbing every ounce of attention as if its the only thing keeping me alive
So I'll walk every broken road just to feel like im not trying to hide
Trapped in my own body that feels like its empty inside
Im just another damaged piece of something left behind
The guilt of every burden weighing me to the ground
The hopeless emotions that fill my mind with every reach of its existence
Its as if birds could poke my eyes out and id welcome them with open arms
The craving of needing to belong sounds sweeter then the reality
The ache of never feeling loved and yet being told I am
The crippling attachment to insufficiency
Losing the voice I so dearly hold accountable to the actions
The movement of insecurity among other things
The longing of something more yet never getting there
Like reaching for a star and not wanting to be scorched by the sun
Like holding your breath knowing the water fills your lungs
Sinking deeper into the pit of all things accumulated
Finding out hope no longer lives in my soul
And this is a battle I'll fight until im old
Wrinkled up and nothing left but skin and bones
Ill take every secret I own to my grave
Forever waiting for the day I'll be saved.