𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐛𝐢𝐫𝐝

34

valentina

I sit up front in the passenger seat and Luna takes the back. She put up one hell of a fight to get me up front and I tried my best not to be in the position but here I am anyway.

Radio music fills the car and I force my eyes on the road ahead, watching as the trees blur together into one.

I miss our old car rides.

The ones where we'd sing along (more like shout) and take turns playing the music, although it was me more often than him. I guess I just have the superior music taste.

The ones that we're full of laughter and him annoying the crap out of me. Is it weird to miss someone annoying you? I'd give anything for him to fucking ruffle my hair or even eat all my biscoff again. And that's just pathetic.

The relatively big spacious car feels cramped with awkwardness and his large frame takes up so much space that I can feel the heat radiating off of him. I know that Luna's picked up on the tension but she doesn't say a word, humming along to the trashy music playing on the radio.

After an excruciatingly long short car ride, we finally make it to the restaurant and once Matteo parks we all climb out of the car.

I follow behind the Italians as they walk confidently into the fancy looking restaurant that's completely empty apart from the table full of laughing adults, one annoyed looking teenage boy sat at the back on his phone, Cairo and Enrico, and lastly the two twins who look like they're scheming.

A few things strike me as I take in the scene. The first one being the many many bottles of alcohol on the table, empty bottles and empty glasses. The second one happens to be their laughter, it's not normal rich asshole laughter it's full on normal people laughter. It's not prim and proper like I'd expected and it brings me comfort because even if they are crazy rich dangerous people, at least they laugh like me.

I take a seat beside Luna and unfortunately, Matteo takes the seat opposite me because of course it's the only seat that's free. The universe seriously has it out for me.

"Mama, papa. This is Valentina." Two pairs of brown eyes snap to meet mine at the words and my heart rate spikes.

The woman, who I'm guessing is Eleonora looks at me as if she's just seen as ghost and her husband Alessandro wears a matching expression.

Uh, are they okay?

"Valentina?" Alessandro repeats, sending goosebumps all over my skin.

Under the table, my legs starts bouncing up and down nervously as I stare at the couple who seem to be frozen. For some weird reason I feel the same as I did when I met Luna, as if I've met them before but in my scrambled head I just can't seem to place them anywhere.

"That's me." I laugh awkwardly not quite knowing how to reply.

The pair share a look witch each other before snapping out of whatever daze they we're in.

"It's nice to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you." Eleonora says, her voice warm and comforting. It's motherly, I think, I don't really have much experience in that department.

"All good things of course." Imara chimes from across the table, taking a large sip of her wine and I smile shyly.

"This is our son Vincent," she glares at her son and he rolls his eyes, grunting out a weak "hey" before turning back to his phone, looking completely disinterested.

As the dinner carries on, we order our food and I don't contribute much to the various conversations, choosing to observe instead. Because of this I pick up on a few things across the hours we spend in the restaurant.

To start with, Luna wasn't lying when she said the Alessandro and Lorenzo turn into teenagers around each other. They've played countless pranks on each other throughout the evening, messing with the other every chance they get. Beside them their wives have been deep in a drunken conversations about everything ranging from paper towels to the best way to kill someone only using technology. Vincent has been on his phone for the past three hours, never looking up once and his sister has been deep in conversation Cairo and Enrico.

Matteo hasn't spoken once. Not once, then again neither have I really.

His green eyes have been locked on the oak table this whole time. He doesn't look sad or hurt, he just looks bored and somehow that's worse. It means he doesn't care and that hurts.

And who's fault is that Vee? You did this to yourself because you were sacred of getting hurt but here you are anyway, still hurt.

Shoving a spoonful of brownie into my mouth, I welcome the heat and comfort it brings with a sigh and my eyes travel back to Eleonora for the millionth time the evening, studying her.

She has big brown eyes, like I do. The same button nose I do. And the exact same hair that I have. Part of me questions 'what if?' but I shut it down, I need to stop trying to find my family in everyone person I see. Plus I was born in New York, and I'm not Italian. At least I think not.

It's then my eyes travel to Alessandro. If I'm not mistaken he has the same lips as I do and the same amount of freckles covering his very tanned skin but they aren't very visible so I could be wrong. He also has brown eyes but when the light hits they turn a slight shade of purple.

Just like mine do.

Stop, stop, stop right now. Stupid, stupid brain. There's no way.

But the way they looked when they heard my name and saw me.

The image of their blanched, shocked faces as they gaped at me comes to mind. 

No.

"I'm going to the restroom." I murmur to Luna and she gives me thumbs up.

It takes a couple minutes for me to find said bathroom but I do, eventually.

Standing in front of the mirror, I lean my palms on the cool marble counter top, staring into my reflection. Cocking my head to the side, my eyes flit across my face. Just because I look like a combination of these two people doesn't mean they are my parents.

Fucking idiot.

I reapply some lip gloss and wash my hands before walking out, stumbling back when I come face to face with a chest. Instantly recognising the owner of said chest, I try and make my way around them without making eye contact but they wrap their hand around my wrist and gently pull me back into place. My body warms at the contact and I chew on my lip, staring down at the hand.

"Are you okay?" Matteo questions gruffly and I stiffen, not quite sure how to act.

"Mhm." I hum, trying to move past him a second time but he pulls me back again.

Placing a big hand on my waist, he guides me backwards until my back hits a wall and raises his other arm to rest beside my head, caging me in.

"Look me in the eyes and tell me you're okay." Even though he speaks quietly and soft, the demand in his words is still clear as ever.

Letting out a ragged breath, I look up into his eyes that are already set on mine.

"I'm fine Matteo." I'm not fine. "Now if you could let me get back to the table?"

Matteo hesitates for a second, his eyes searching my face for a long second before he sighs, stepping back. I take the chance and walk away from him, not looking back even though I know that he's watching.

Sitting back down at the table, I shoot Luna a smile and finish eating my desert.

A couple minutes later he comes back and I don't even bother looking up either, although yet again I know he's looking at me. 

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i might to matteos pov soon but right now valentina has some shit to think about and i need you guys to hear it so 

unedited 

<3