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Pain.
What a weird thing it is. You can die from the pain, or you can learn from it. But for Sicheng, it was neither. He was accustomed to it, and he kept making the same mistake again. But who knew such a simple heartbreak would cause him such pain? Who would've imagined that Yuta would play him in the first place? Did Yuta even love him?
Sicheng didn't know. He didn't even want to hear his name or remember him. Yuta was the first person he loved whole heartedly. And yet, he got cheated on. What isn't there in Sicheng that is there in every single person out in the world?
Why is he the one who gets played? Why can't he just have a peaceful and happy life for once? These were all questions. Questions to which the answers weren't known. And so, Sicheng decided. He decided to get distant. Cold. No one would approach him if he gave out an intimidating aura, and maybe that way he'd not get hurt again.
But there was one thing he was sure of:
Yuta was the best mistake he ever made.
🍀
Yuta's heart ached when he saw the younger enter the classroom wearing a black hoodie, and his face sunken and thin. The younger quietly went to the back of the class and took a seat.
It wasn't until the bell rang, signaling the starting of his class, that Yuta noticed he was staring at Sicheng. Sighing, he got on with his lesson, "Okay class, open your books to page 127..."
Throughout the class, Yuta couldn't concentrate. He kept stammering and stumbling over his words, sometimes forgetting some points. At last, he gave a task to his students and took a seat in his chair, letting out a breath he didn't even notice he was holding.
The older's obsidian eyes glanced over to Sicheng, who had a pencil in between his fingers and was looking out of the window, his chin resting on his palm. But the younger looked as if he was looking at nothing. His eyes weren't focused on anything particular, as they shifted restlessly.
The younger was uncomfortable, Yuta understood. It was a little habit of the Chinese's to get restless when he was uncomfortable. Sicheng's face was void of any emotion, but his eyes held sadness and woe.
Sighing for the nth time that day, Yuta looked longingly at the younger. If only, if only he had informed Sicheng, then their relationship wouldn't be in this state today. Yuta blamed himself for being so careless. He had spent nights crying himself to sleep, just because of his one small mistake.
A small mistake, but a huge impact.
🍀
"Sicheng."
The said boy stopped after hearing Yuta utter his name. The Chinese closed his eyes, preventing the tears from escaping from his eyes. He couldn't just ignore the older and exit the classroom, they were in the college, he had to maintain the protocol.
Taking a deep breath, Sicheng turned towards the Japanese, "Yes, Professor Nakamoto?"
Professor Nakamoto.
Sicheng should've punched Yuta in the guts instead, it would've hurt less. When the couple would be alone in the classroom, they would always address each other by their first names, and it had become a habit for them. But now, hearing it from Sicheng's mouth, it sounded so....foreign.
Yuta cleared his throat, "Will you..," he started, "Will you be coming for our session later?" The younger hesitated for a second, thinking the Japanese's question over. As much as he wanted to avoid any contact with the older, Sicheng knew he needed those sessions.
With a slight nod, the Chinese exited the classroom.
🍀
"He won't even look at me!" Yuta said, "I know he's got the wrong idea and I know we're not together anymore, but why can't he just look at me?"
Jaemin who was in a half-sitting position on the couch sat up, "I think it's fair enough for Sicheng hyung. He knows you cheated, he saw it with his own eyes. How can he look at you after that?"
"But I didn't cheat!" The older said, clearly exasperated, "She forced herself on me!"
"But Sicheng hyung doesn't know that, does he? He doesn't know you were forced, so he got the wrong idea. You just have to explain everything to him," The younger shrugged as if it were very easy.
Yuta pondered upon the younger's words, carefully considering everything. It wasn't easy at all to try and explain the situation to Sicheng, he wouldn't even respond to Yuta properly. But maybe if he tried harder, Yuta might succeed in getting Sicheng back.
Still, he wasn't convinced it would be a piece of cake. "What if he doesn't believe me? What if he thinks I've never loved him? What if he finds someone else to fall in love with? What he's hurt again? I can't let that happen, he's gone through so much!" Yuta rambled.
Jaemin could see his brother getting worked up, and he understood where it was all coming from. After all, he had gone through all this during the first phases of his relationship, but in the end everything was fine, only because they loved each other.
He knew his brother loved Sicheng very much, he only didn't have faith in himself. He would see how Yuta wouldn't even utter a word and just go to his room and slam his door shut. He would hear the small gasps and sobs the older let out at night, when he would go down to the kitchen. He had seen his brother cry, letting out all his emotions, regretting all his decisions.
Jaemin had never seen Yuta cry, not even after a break-up. But the younger knew Sicheng was special. And he would do anything to make Sicheng see that his brother loved him with his whole heart, and would never even think of cheating on him with anyone else.
