Veda

Her

She was staying there, paralyzed. Everyone was talking around her, but it danced in her mind like background noise. Your life just turns around, but you previously had the idea of how your story would be. Suddenly, have to change your objective. Just like your dreams aren't a choice, reroute, and somehow find understanding. How is someone expected to find a new meaning, or how does one find out their true destiny? 

Who was she, and why does she have so many problems? I observe her with her friends, and how she stares down at the ground. She doesn't speak much, and when she does, you hear the pain in her voice, like she's lost. You can watch her thinking, you can see how she wants to say something, but that conversation is so far from what's on her mind that she can't find the words to say. Such a strange person. Most people just overlook her, but not me. Not In a creepy kind of way, but I'm interested in her story.

Last summer I was going through my issues so, I know how all that pressure can feel like. It took me a while to not reflect on nova; we used to be so close. I kept thinking that somehow the rain would clear. Then the more I held on to hope for nova and me, the more I realized we were turning into strangers, more and more. I consumed all my energy into someone who wasn't reciprocating, not even acknowledging. Either way, it never mattered.

I couldn't just admire someone who didn't love me. I couldn't love someone who wasn't bothered because it hurt me. Not only that, but I had to just let it disappear. Likewise, I had to repurpose, and now I can breathe. I get to wake up every day and not think about nova. Except for the box of memories in my closet that goes unnoticed, while still acknowledged. I know it's there, but looking at it just takes the progress right away.

In this room full of people, here I am. There she is. Just as my phone rang, I went to decline the call, and I looked up, and she was just gone. We'll saved that book for another day. So, I guess it's time for me and Treviso to make our way back home. I look over and give him a slight nudge, and he grabbed his keys. Sitting In the car I gazed out the window, just peering at the stars.

Crazy how one huge explosion created an entire universe, full of stars, emotions, and her.

Maybe there's another world out there, where she smiles, where she's successful, so she doesn't want for anything, and where she's supported. Another problem on my mind that needs solving is the mystery itself. Why her? Why does her story matter so much? I shouldn't be drawn to a random stranger like this. What if it's best to be distant because maybe learning is too much?

Nova was a mystery once before. I would look at her in amazement. She was quiet to the outside world, but I have seen her and how bright her face got when she smiled. I remember how it felt to get jealous, and curious to learn more.

I have probably never loved someone as I've loved her, her voice, smell, and touch were so mesmerizing. A full two years of my life in a nova trance. Never mind that, because there's no reason to reminisce about someone who turned out to be so cold.
Treviso must have seen me lost in my thought. Every time he notices, he always starts blaring music. Nova isn't something he and I talk to each other about. I guess everyone is going through their problems, and his outweighs mine in so many ways. When everything first happened, and my mind was 10,000 miles away from me. Treviso was losing everything.

He wears the same look on his face now, and it's nothing like the face I used to see growing up. It's the same look I see on the new girl's face. Maybe that's why I'm so drawn to her.

We pulled up at Aveiro's house; I grabbed my red pullover jacket out of the back seat and quickly slipped it on before going inside. It wasn't raining yet, but the wind was blowing as if it could start at any minute. When we got inside, tre and Aveiro went into the kitchen, but I went into the bathroom to clear my head for a moment.
I turned the water on and felt the warmth consuming my fingertips, just before splashing the water on my face. I looked in the mirror for a moment, running my hands through my thick, light brown, curly hair.