The lost love

Part four- The truth comes out

The next day flies by and you don't see Bucky. You have been trying to avoid him while you try to process the fact that he applied for the army. You were furious. It was always Steve that wanted to go, Bucky never mentioned it. How could he not have told you? Does Steve know? Surely not if Steve thinks you'll have Bucky here with me...

You have kept your head in your books since finding out about Bucky so that you don't have to face him. However, you figured you would have to leave your room eventually so you go downstairs for dinner. As you walk down the stairs, and around the corner, you hear the familiar voices filling the room. Steve and Bucky. You take a deep breath... you can do this, just don't mention it. 

You walk in and Steve turns to you "Hey! I haven't seen you all day. Want some dinner? You have to hear who spoke to me today!" He seemed awfully excited.

You smile, it's unusual to see Steve smile so much "Who?"

"Dr Abraham Erskine! He's the one that has to accept you for the army. And guess what! He wants to speak to me about a way that will help me get into the army!" You stand there, not sure what to say. You look towards Bucky but he doesn't look at you.

"That's... great news! Umm, when does he want to meet?" You slowly walk to the cupboard, grabbing the plates for dinner.

"Tomorrow!" 

"Tomorrow? but that's so soon..." You stand there, not sure what to do. You realise now that both of them are going to be gone. 

"Don't worry, Ellesse. I'm not going anywhere yet. And plus, when I do go, you'll still have Buck!" 

"Yeah... I'll still have one of you..." You go to walk towards the table but start to feel overwhelmed and your head starts to hurt. Bucky finally looks at you and notices something is wrong. 

"Doll? Are you okay?" He jumps up out of his seat and walks towards you.  By the time he gets to you, your vision is black and all you can hear is the sound of the plates landing onto the floor, shattering into little pieces. You feel yourself falling before someone catches you. 

A WHILE LATER

You slowly start to open your eyes and adjust to the brightness. You look around realising that you're in your bedroom. You push yourself to sit up but someone stops you. 

"Take it easy, doll. That was some fall you had" You look over to see Bucky at the side of the bed.

"What happened?" You managed to say groggily, placing your hand on your head from the pain.

"You passed out after Steve was telling you about the army." Right, army. Back to reality where Steve will end up with a serum to make him more built for the army and where Bucky leaves to go to the army without telling us. 

"Yeah, I remember now" You don't particularly want Bucky here after finding out about everything so slowly, you sit up and get out of bed.

"Woah doll, let me help you" He goes to grab your arm to support you but you pull your body away from him.

"I'm fine, I don't need a man to help me with everything, I don't need to be protected."

"Okay... That was a bit harsh, especially for you. Are you okay, Doll? What's wrong?" You stand up to correct your balance and senses. 

"I'm fine. Absolutely fine." Ok... maybe this had annoyed you more than you thought...

"Have I done something? Do I need to go and get more of your favourite sweets?" Your heart melts but you can't help but think about his lie. He has kept this from you and Steve. 

"Nope. Why don't you just leave and tell Steve that I'm fine." Then you say quietly "You're just going to leave soon enough anyway" Apparently, not quiet enough, though...

"What? What is that supposed to mean? I'm not going anywhere." That broke you. That was the first thing he has told you that you know is a lie.

"Sure your not. Anyway, I'm fine so you can go now." You snap back, waiting for him to leave. 

"I'm not going anywhere! What has gotten into you to think that I would leave!?"

"Oh cut the crap! I know you applied for the army and got accepted!" He stares at you as the realisation hits him. His face softens. "How could you? It's... great that you have been accepted into the army... but you didn't tell us..." You pause, trying to calm yourself "But worse of all... You just lied straight to my face when you said you wouldn't be going anywhere. You lied to both, Me and Steve, saying that I will have you when Steve is gone." He stays silent "You know, I'm happy for you. You got into the army, just like you wanted to, apparently."

You hear someone at your bedroom door "You joined the army and didn't tell us?" Steve appears at the door, apparently hearing everything. 

"Steve, I was going to - " He gets cut off as Steve walks away. "Steve, wait" He then turns to you once he realises Steve has gone. "I was going to tell you... but I knew it was going to be hard. It would have been simple enough to tell Steve, but you... I didn't want to break the news to you. I should have told you sooner, I'm sorry, Ellesse" That is the first time in 9 years, where he called you by your name. 

You stand there, momentarily silent. "You should go speak to Steve. I don't need to tell you that he will be making his way to the pier." 

"I don't want to, I want to stay here and talk about things with you first. I know Steve, he will come around" You turn, facing away from him.

"Fine, you want to talk? I'll talk. I'm glad you got what you wanted, your life has come together and you finally have a purpose or whatever. But... what about me? It was supposed to be Steve that goes off to war, and then you and I stay here. Was that plan not good enough for you?" You wipe a tear from your cheek "I get it. You'll be okay, You'll be fine.. but what about me!? I'll be the one here, left by her family because her best friend went off to war with her brother after he decided that the plans weren't good enough!" You take a deep breath to calm yourself in front of him "I don't want to talk right now. So, please, just go to Steve."

 You don't look back until you know he has left before you break down.