The Last Breath | YoonMin

28

On April 11th at 02:53 in the morning an ambulance came rushing into our street with full blown alarms.

Less then ten minutes before, I woke up not being able to breathe. My lungs were filling up with fluid, gradually suffocating me.

Yoongi screamed for my mom, who then called the emergency number.

Later that morning the doctors put in a drain, and drained 1,5 liters of fluid from my lungs.

There has been fluid in my lungs before, but never to this extend.

Two days later I got discharged from the hospital, and sent home with extra medication that should prevent such big amounts of fluid from flowing back into my lungs.

I slept the whole car ride back. And when we got home I got carried in by Yoongi, who was waiting together with Jungkook for us.

That day I slept until I got woken up by my mom around five o'clock because I needed to take my medication.

'' I have to get married tomorrow.'' I mumble the moment I am able to open my eyes.

'' Jimin.. I don't think it will be a good idea. Not after what just happened. I-.. I already asked Jihyung and Jungkook to blow the thing off..'

I look at my mom, and feel tears brimming my eyes. '' How could you do that..'' I croak out.

'' Jimin.. We didn't even know if you were able to get home today, let alone be able to get married tomorrow.''

I swallow the lump in my throat. '' How do you know I'll even be there at all tomorrow?''

I notice the shocked look on my moms face because of what I said. But I can't seem to care, not in this moment at least.

'' I'm so sorry Jim..'' She mumbles, and she strokes my hair. Which I know she does to try and make me feel better.

To say I'm terribly hurt would be an understatement. The one thing I asked for, the last and only thing I wanted, will not happen after all.

Maybe you think I'm overreacting. But, try to look at it from my point of view.

At this point every morning, every moment I wake up, is a gift. My body is deteriorating quickly, and the incident from a few days ago confirms just that.

That much fluid in my lungs is a sign. Showing my heart isn't working the way it is supposed to. It's getting weak, my body is getting weak.

I'm getting weak.

I can feel my body dying. Everyday things get harder. I can't walk by myself anymore, I can't eat properly anymore because I have a hard time chewing and trouble swallowing. I get out of breath just drinking something, I can't even take a fucking shit by myself anymore.

There is nothing left of me.

I feel like a skeleton, and look like a skeleton. My hair, even though it's growing back, is thinning and falling out again because my body is attacking itself.

My hands constantly feel like ice, and even my fingers and lips are taking on a permanent blue colour because the lack of oxygen.

My body hurts all the time. I get nosebleeds almost every day now, and I am forced to spend most of my day sleeping.

Im not living for another month or two.

I know it, and I can feel it.

There is no fighting this anymore. The only way to end this, is by letting it end me.

I always said I wasn't going down without I fight.

This intruder that entered my body will lose one day.

And it will.

But not without taking me with it.