The Last Breath | YoonMin

16

'' So how are you and Yoongi doing so far?''

'' Good I guess.'' I shrug my shoulders and throw back the tennis ball to Jungkook, who's sitting on the couch. '' I mean, we love each other a lot. So I guess that's a good thing.''

'' Did you guys do, you know.. Stuff ?''

'' Kook no! Stop!'' I launch the ball back, hitting Jungkook in the chest.

'' Auw hyung! It was just a question! You guys have been together for almost two months now. I just figured you'd at least did something..''

I know he's right. Yoongi and I didn't do anything besides kissing, and part of me feels bad for not going further yet. It's just.. I'm worried about what he will say when he sees me like this. In the past two months my health has gone down, I've lost more weight even though I try to eat as much as possible, and I have a big scar on the place my port-a-cath previously sat. The doctors decided to take it out since I'm not having chemo's anymore. It was a short surgery and it went relatively fine. The only thing that grew is the hair on my head.

I know Yoongi will be disgusted when he sees me. I don't even want to take off my shirt in front of him, let alone be naked. I just, don't want him to regret being with me because I can't give him what somebody else could. It hurts me to know I'll never be good enough.

'' Don't worry too much hyung.. Yoongi loves you. I can tell you feel bad, but please don't. You don't have to do anything if you're uncomfortable.'' Jungkook reassures.

'' It's alright Kook.. I guess I'm just worried I'm not enough. But I will get over it, so can we please stop talking about it and cuddle.'' I pout, to which he gets up from the couch and joins me under the covers.

As much as I love Yoongi, with 'problems' that involve him, it's good to have someone like Jungkook to seek comfort in.

'' How's Yoongi's sister doing?'' Jungkook asks after a moment of silence.

I shift my position by laying on Jungkook's shoulder. '' She's doing really good. Yoongi told me the medication she get's is really effective. She's still on pills though, but things are looking good.''

'' That's great.''

'' Yeah, she deserves it. They all do.''

--

'' Fuck. Shit. I'm so sorry.'' I hold up my hands, looking at my bed and clothes which are now covered in vomit. Seeing Yoongi step out of the bathroom with a towel.

'' It's okay Jim.. Here, let me help you.'' He says, cleaning my hands and pulling away the dirty blanket.

'' I-I don't know what happened. It just came up out of no where. I'm so so sorry.''

'' Jimin, calm down. These things happen. You didn't hurt anyone but yourself. Now let's get you into the shower.'' He says grabbing my arms and helping me off the bed.

After folding it down, I take a seat on my shower chair, watching Yoongi grab some towels out of the cabinet. '' Alright, we'll take your clothes off okay?''

My hands grab the hem of my shirt when Yoongi reaches down to help me take it off.

'' Jimin.. Your shirt is dirty, you can't leave it on.''

I don't dare to look up at Yoongi. What should I say? Hi, I look so disgusting I rather wear clothes covered in vomit then be naked? Great Jimin. Just. Great.

'' What's wrong?'' Yoongi crouches down in front of me not getting a response. '' Are you embarrassed?''

I shrug my shoulders, still holding onto my shirt.

'' About getting your clothes dirty?''

I shake my head so lightly I wonder if he even noticed.

'' Are.. Are you embarrassed because of your body?''

I nod my head this time, to afraid to tell him myself.

'' Jimin, there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed. In my eyes you are gorgeous no matter how you look.'' He says, lacing our fingers together and I feel him raising my head with his free hand. '' Please let me help you Jimin. I will never judge you.''

My remaining hand lets go of my shirt, at which Yoongi takes the cannula from my nose and places it down outside the bathroom. He helps me take my shirt off after, making sure to not get anything on my face. I immediately cover my body with my arms. Only for them to be taking away by Yoongi. '' Don't hide yourself from me, please Jimin.'' He says and grabs my hand to make me stand up. '' Is this okay?'' He asks and I feel his fingers hooking the band of my sweats.

'' It's okay.'' I whisper, as his hand pushes down both my sweatpants and underwear at once. I push my lips together afraid what Yoongi will think. But he just looks at me, not even once bothering to look down, and I step out of my pants when I feel them laying at my ankles. I notice my cheeks heat up when I sit back down again and Yoongi reaches down to grab my clothes off the ground. Still I can't help covering myself as much as I can.

'' Is this warm enough?'' Yoongi asks, letting some of the water hit my hand to feel the temperature.

I nod my head. '' Yeah.. Just don't let it get to hot in here, it's hard to breath because of the fog. You can leave the door open if you want to.''

While Yoongi helps me by washing my upper body and legs I can't deny how nice it is to have someone help me with this. Taking showers on my own is a really hard task lately. I have to sit down and stand up multiple times, wash my whole body and even if I put the temperature lower then usual, it still gets warm and it's still hard to breath while having to do all that. Mom helps me shower when she visits and she told me the nurses can help me every day if I want to. But I don't, even though they're really nice, the thought of them showering me just makes me really uncomfortable.

'' Alright. How about I'll go grab some clean pajamas and you can wash the rest?'' Yoongi says handing me the washcloth before heading out.

I stand up to wash my front and back, rinsing  off the soap, and sit back down on the chair.

'' Are you finished?'' Yoongi asks from outside the door. I answer him wit a short yes and turn off the shower. After getting help drying off, putting on my clothes and brushing my teeth, I put my cannula back in and take a seat on the chair to catch my breath while Yoongi cleans the bed, putting the dirty sheets in a washing bag and placing it in the hallway for the nurses to take it to the laundry room.

'' Okay come on.'' Yoongi gestures and opens up the sheets for me to climb in.

'' Join me please?'' I say and open up my arms for Yoongi, who smiles and climbs in pulling me close once I put the covers down again.

'' Thank you for helping me Yoongi.'' I whisper burying my face in the crook of his neck.

'' Thank you for trusting me Jimin. I'm so, so proud of you.''

His fingers lightly gaze my arm and I close my eyes at the soothing feeling it brings. '' I'm glad I got to meet you Yoongi..''

'' I know.'' He softly chuckles. '' What would you do without me.''

'' I'd probably be dead..''

--

Wow, what an ending line. Hope this was better then the previous chapter. :)