I wake up just as we step out off the elevator and figure out fairly quickly Yoongi is carrying me to my room right now. We left the karaoke bar after Jungkook finished the song. I was crying, again, and everybody decided is was probably better to leave. Since the hallway is quiet, I guess Yoongi dropped everyone off at home and I fell asleep in the car again.
I harshly bite my lip, a mixed feeling of anger and guilt washes over me again as I recollect what happened today. What I ruined.
'' Hey you're awake, how are you feeling?'' I hear Yoongi softly say.
'' Please let me down.'' I mumble, my voice cold as I tightly grab the hem of my sweater.
'' It's fine we're almost at your ro-''
'' Yoongi put me down!'' I say, now louder as I try and squirm myself out off his hold.
'' What's going on?'' He asks confused while putting me down and I immediately walk away, only to be pulled back by the tubes connected to my concentrator. I quickly turn around and see Jinae behind Yoongi, pushing my wheelchair with the concentrator in it. Within a second the tubes on my face land on the ground and I continue barging my way to my room, leaving a shocked Yoongi behind.
'' Jimin! You can't just do that!'' I hear his faint yelling as the door slams close, making the room shake.
Tears are streaming down my face as I slam my hands on the bed out of frustration and scatter the contents on top of my nightstand on the floor. Emptying the surface of my dresser afterwards.
'' Jimin what the hell are you doing!?'' Yoongi barges into the room, shock still written on his face. I don't see Jinae anywhere, he's alone.
'' Fuck of Yoongi!'' I sit on my bed, head in my hands, unable to stop my tears.
'' Jimin calm down.. Just talk to m-''
'' TALK ABOUT WHAT, YOONGI!?'' I yell, shooting up from my bed and to the other side of the room. '' WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY, HMM!?''
'' Why are you acting like this Jimin?...'' He croaks, and seeing the look on his face just makes my heart hurt even more.
'' I'M TIRED YOONGI, SO FUCKING TIRED! I'M TIRED OF NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP UP ANYMORE, TIRED OF BEING SICK, TIRED OF THE PAIN, OF NOT BEING ENOUGH!'' I swallow the lump in my throat, seeing tears fall down the face of the person I love the most in this world. ''I'm tired of living, Yoongi..''
I didn't even notice I'd stop crying until I broke down again the moment two pair of arms wrapped themselves around me. '' Yoongi... I-I don't know how long I can keep doing this.''
'' It'll be okay baby. We'll figure this out together, just come sit down and put your oxygen o-''
'' Yoongi no.'' I pull back from his grasp and look into his bloodshot eyes. '' Yoongi I can't keep hurting you like this... I'm waisting your time, I'm waisting everyones time. I ruined today, I know that.'' I gulp while wiping away a tear from his cheek. '' I- I can't give you what you deserve. My god Yoongi, you deserve so much more.. Love should be blooming, not dying.. Being with me will only bring you heartbreak and pain. I'll be gone, and you'll be the one forced to live with all that hurt. Knowing that kills me.'' I sniff, brushing my fingers through his hair. '' We have to stop this, while we still can...''
I notice the smile forming on his lips, it's small, but it's there and as sweet and gentle as ever. '' Jimin..'' He whispers, placing his hands on my cheeks. '' You must be mental if you think I'll let you go now. There is no way I'm leaving you.''
I open my mouth to speak up again but get cut off immediately. '' I'm in so fucking deep Jimin.'' He softly chuckles. '' I know I will never love anyone as much as I love you. I'm not forcing you to stay, I will never force you, but please don't push me away.. I will always be by your side, for as long as you want me to... Please..''
A pair of soft lips gently place themselves on mine, in some way reassuring me maybe in the end, everything will be okay. The feeling latches itself in my heart, even when those lips pull away.
'' Always, Jim... Till death due us part.''
--
So I sorta cried writing this, but I'm hormonal so don't feel pressured.
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