Chapter 23 #jttwbs
"Ano 'yung... sinabi mo kay Mamala... nung Friday?"
Kabibili lang namin ni Fern ng bulaklak at kandila. Magkatabi kaming naglalakad habang sumisipsip sa sari-sariling plastik ng soft drinks. Pinanatili ko ang mga mata sa kapiligiran ng malawak na sementeryo. As expected for November 2, there were families under the tents gathered to visit their late loved ones.
Tumikhim si Fern na siyang naging gatilyo sa kaba ko. I had the whole yesterday to muster my guts to ask him that and I did... yet I was still here, almost sweating bullets.
"Sinabi ko na..." he trailed off reluctantly. "Nanliligaw ako sa'yo."
Hinarap ko siya habang naglalakad kami sa ilalim ng mahapding tirik na araw. Sino nga naman kasi ang nagsabi na tanghali kami bumisita? Hindi nga rin kami nakapagbitbit ng payong.
He was eyeing me carefully as if he was measuring my reaction.
"Pa'no kung..." I cleared my throat when my voice almost broke. I fixed my eyes on the ground covered with bermuda grass. "Hindi ako pumayag no'n?"
Kita ko ang gulat niya sa sulok ng paningin ko. "So... Payag ka?" maingat at umaasa niyang tanong.
Ako naman ang nagulat! I wasn't thinking properly. I didn't know I could imply that. Tumikhim ako at napaiwas ng tingin.
"Fern... nagtatanong lang ako. Hypothetically," I stressed in hopes to detour our conversation. Hindi ko kayang sagutin ang tanong niya nang hindi naiilang.
"Uh.. well..." I heard him sigh, seemingly disappointed. "Like what I've said that day, it's fine. Maiintindihan ko."
I nodded my head. "I just... It's... uhm... unbelievable," sinubukan kong umamin kung paano ko inensayo kagabi. "You get where I'm coming from?"
"How so?"
I exhaled in preparation to expound my point. "Uh... Kaibigan ka kasi ng lahat. Kahit mga babae. I see how you treat your girl friends, and you said before that I'm your girl friend... with a space, too. Pareho lang naman ang trato mo—"
"Sandali... Huh?"
"Nakadikit ka rin naman sa mga kaibigan mong babae tulad sa'kin. Binibisita mo rin sila sa school..."
"Kung wala ka, hindi ako babalik-balik sa school. Pakialam ko ba kina Visa para bisitahin ko pa sila lagi... Saka hindi ako dumidikit sa mga kaibigan kong babae nang tulad sa'yo."
My forehead creased. It's true that I haven't really seen him glue himself to other girls the way he is to me. Iyong iba naman ay nadadaanan niya lang sa hallways at hindi talagang sinadya na bisitahin sa school.
"Teka... Nagseselos ka ba?"
Huminto pa si Fern sa paglalakad at hinarap ako. Huminto rin ako at hinarap siya na nanlalaki ang mga mata. He scowled when he noticed that we were directly assaulted by the sun. He seized my wrist and sent us both under an unoccupied tent there was.
"What? Of course not!"
He narrowed his eyes at me as if he was suspecting me for a crime. "Bilang kaibigan, Eri. Nagseselos ka?"
"Hindi nga! B-Ba't naman?" nautal kong tanggi. But really, I was telling the truth! Hindi ko nga maintindihan kung bakit naisip ni Fern 'yon!
"Ikaw ang best friend ko. 'Wag kang mag-alala. Friends lang sila..."
"Talaga lang ha..." I replied and didn't understand why my tone sounded like a threat.
It made him chuckle. "Uhuh."
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