Just the Ticket

Epilogue (2/2)

Epilogue (2/2) #jttwbs

"IOVA ERISETTE..." Rikit, my girlfriend, read the name of the huge ship I drew the first time Eri and I fell apart.

Nanatili akong nakatungo sa kabila ng narinig. I was unloading my bag here in my room because I just finished a contract and just got back home. It was Rikit who fetched me, reason why she's here.

"IOVA ERISETTE..." she repeated, quieter this time as if she was forcing it to sink in.

Napahinto na ako at napapikit. No... I couldn't be this cruel. She is my girlfriend. The least I can do as her boyfriend who's still in love with his ex-girlfriend is to not be the jerk that I am right in her face.

I heaved a sigh and gently grabbed my old test paper where the drawing was still alive. Nakuha niya iyon sa mga gamit na nililigpit dahil dinadala ko sa barko.

I hate to admit this with Rikit's presence, but it's one of my sources of motivation.

"Still her, Fern?" anas ni Rikit. Narinig ko lang naman siya ngunit nalasahan ko rin ang nararamdaman niyang mapait.

My tongue was tied before I closed my eyes calmly and I finalized the decision I had been meaning to actualize on my head. Alright. Ito na nga yata talaga.

Nilingon ko si Rikit na may ilang dangkal ang layo sa akin habang nakaupo kami sa kama ko. Her mouth was agape as she stared lifelessly at the wall. The guilt raked inside me, leaving a fresh wound on the path it passed through.

Inabot ko ang walang gana niyang kamay sa ibabaw ng kandungan. Napaigtad agad siya nang madampian ko kaya napalunok naman ako. But I set all the uncertainties aside and met her enlarging eyes.

Ngumiti ako nang maliit. "Yes, it's still her."

All the hope that exploded across her face vanished. Her fingers slightly shivered as she tried to retrieve her hand but I beat her to it. Hindi ko siya binitiwan.

"Pero susubukan kong hindi na," remedyo ko sa sakit na matagal ko nang idinudulot sa kanya. "This time, Rikit, totoo na."

Because the first time I said that, I failed to be true to my words. I didn't exactly lie, though. I truly tried but I failed.

Pero mas determinado na ako ngayon na sumubok. Si Rikit na nga talaga siguro ang itinakda sa akin. Tama siguro ang iba na matututunan din naman ang pagmamahal. Gusto ko nang matuto. I've been failing enough.

Dahil si Eri, Fern? Hindi na puwede. Nakatali na siya sa lalaki na hindi ikaw. Itatak mo 'yan sa makulit na kukote mo.

I looked down at our clasped hands as Rikit inserted her fingers through the tight spaces of mine. Nasa kandungan ko nakapatong ang mga kamay namin. She modestly scooted closer to me on the bed without tearing her hopeful gaze away from me.

Her eyes drifted down to my lips. I was just still when I watched her close our distance, lift her chin, and claim my lips. Nauna siyang napapikit bago ako. Her lips were immediately on the move, motioning me to return it.

I dodged on the first and only time that she tried to kiss me when we were already together. This time, I silenced the little voices reminding me of who I truly love and let Rikit conquer my lips unfortunately craving for somebody else's.

Ilang segundo lang ay naramdaman kong dumantay na ang mga palad niya sa dibdib ko, mahinang itinutulak ako sa kama. Her kisses escalated to aggression, too.

Narinig ko na naman tuloy ang mumunting boses sa isipan ko. But they were louder and more demanding. I couldn't tame them, so they victoriously made me stop the kiss. Pupungas-pungas ang mga mata ni Rikit nang dumilat.