Just the Ticket

Chapter 32

Chapter 32 #jttwbs

I didn't get to find out when exactly did they start dating.

But it was around two years ago when social media supplied me that sensational detail. Fern and I remained online friends but we were the type who had zero interactions, not even an emergence on each others' notifications.

Nalaman ko lang din ang tungkol sa kanila ilang sandali pagkatapos ko rin nagkaroon ng boyfriend noong nasa Manila ako.

"So, you're really back there, huh?"

Nangulubot ang noo ko sa boses ni Kiel na talo sa tunog ng blower ko. I stopped blowdrying my hair and switched it off since I was already satisfied.

"Ano?"

Nakita kong bumangon siya sa kama at naglakad nang hindi nawawala ang mukha sa screen. He's spending a layover in a Singapore hotel before their next flight.

"You're really getting him back now?" Nakita ko siyang tumungga sa bottled water bago nagtaas ng isang kilay sa akin. "Ang bilis mo talagang naka-move on sa break-up natin, a?"

Humagalpak ako. "It's been eleven months! Ikaw yata ang 'di maka-move on, Zarkiel?" I rode with him in the context of our inside joke.

Around two years ago, I did something very human. I committed a mistake that I still grimace at myself about it up to date.

Hindi naging madali ang Manila hindi dahil sa bagong salta ako roon. It was just because of the heavy baggages I brought along with me. It had been a year turned years and my wounds were still uncured.

Although I was aware healing won't take only overtime, I still tried to quicken the process regardless if it was through a mistake. I was desperate. Iyon ang klase ng sakit na magtutulak sa kahit sinong tao na gawin ang lahat upang makaahon.

Naging kami ni Kiel kasi pumayag siyang gamitin ko. He was there, the only one back then for that matter. And he cared. And he was willing.

I called it a mistake on my part because I knew that he didn't deserve that. Unfortunately, being a human equates the tendency of being selfish.

I just called it off with Kiel eleven months ago when I brought myself into my senses at last. Kasi para namang hindi ako natuto sa hindi ko sadyang nagawa kay Fern kung ganoon.

I shouldn't depend my betterment on other people, let alone be dependent on other people's help. I should do it on my own.

Mas maigi nang maging mag-isa habang hindi ako ayos, kaysa naman ang pumasok sa relasyon kasama ang isang tao na parehong masisira ko lang sa huli. Pati ang sarili ko.

Like what I unintentionally did to what Fern and I had. See what happened? I sighed, thinking that I needed to experience it twice to realize.

Maraming tao ang natatakot mag-isa. Pero nakatutulong talaga ito. Dahil din kasi roon, napatunayan kong maayos na nga ako. Naayos ko na ang sarili ko.

"Hey, you're really getting him back now?" tanong muli ni Kiel, hinagis ako pabalik sa ulirat.

"Baliw ka. I'm not getting him back. He's engaged, Kiel. He's getting married sooner or later, who knows."

My answer molded one of his dark eyebrows into an arch.

"Honestly," dagdag ko. Para kasing hindi siya naniwala.

Magsisinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ko sinubukang mahalin si Zarkiel. If anything, I almost coerced to wrap my entire brain around the idea of us.

But our break-up was also really because the idea of us is platonic. On both sides, as per when we discussed it. Kiel was just as desperate to liberate me from that damnation.