An Almost Lan

Chapter 11

A/N: AU and OOC, just a reminder.

Thank you for your votes and comments, they really encourage me!

Thanks to @CALActorsTypist on Twitter for editing this.

Warning: ANGST (yes, with capital letters).

Conflict had always been the center of Jiang Cheng's life. His whole existence seemed to be entangled with conflict from the very beginning, and he had been made aware of it from an early age.

Jiang Cheng's entire life was littered with examples of conflicting situations. His birth had brought his father happiness in halfs, sure the Jiang family finally had a male heir, but the boy wasn't born from the woman Jiang Fengmian truly loved.

Since infancy, he heard again and again that he was somewhat more important than his sister just because he was a male and the carrier of the Jiang family name. It conflicted him, since he had always known that his sister, that wonderful loving human being, was in many ways more capable of being the head of the Jiang family one day. She was terrific with people while he was on the edge of being antisocial.

One of his earliest memories was one of his parents arguing. Their fights were epic and obviously indelible, but what he remembered most was his fear of them getting a divorce. He wished so fervently for them to stay married and keep their family together even when deep down he intuitively knew a divorce would bring each of the family members some peace and maybe even happiness.

Then Wei Ying came to their lives and he had never been more conflicted before. Having to give away his pets to accommodate the newcomer made him resentful, but at the same time he was ecstatic to get a playmate his age.

When he finally understood that Wei Ying was there to stay, not as someone to play with, but as his brother Jiang Cheng felt conflicted again. He loved his brother dearly, but the blatant preference his father showed towards A-Ying made Jiang Cheng jealous and bitter.

After his father's death, he felt so lost, experiencing such grief that he didn't think he was capable of overcoming it someday, but something within his soul felt peace which in turn made him feel so guilty. Such turmoil of emotions tortured him every time he remembered that period of time.

Then, the Lans came to his life, to their lives really. At first, he was furious. How dare his mother disrespect his father's memory that way? He felt so powerless. If I were older, he thought, none of this would be happening. He didn't understand the dire situation his mother was in. He had no doubt his mother would have found a way to defend Jiang Holdings from Wen Rouhan's attack, but it would have been so hard on her, almost surely forcing her to compromise in less than ideal situations he avoided delving into too much.

It had been his sister, who he appreciated had a better grasp of the circumstances, the one that made him think about them as a family and helped him see that her mother had to be between a rock and a hard place to even think of being the cause of something that could provoke a scandal.

Much later, he realized Lan Qiren, or Uncle Qiren as he called his stepfather, had been more than kind, more than generous to all of them. It didn't go unnoticed to him that his mother and him had reached an understanding, a soft and warm companionship very much akin to love in their marriage and that uncle Qiren made his mother happy. So at least that part didn't conflict him anymore.

He had not been completely adverse to the idea of gaining more siblings, but coming from an unhealthy environment where his late father was constantly comparing him to Wei Ying to their dismay, he didn't feel at ease when he learned that the peerless jades of Lan would become his brothers.