An Almost Lan

Chapter 15

A/N: AU and OOC, just a reminder.

Thank you for your votes and comments, they really encourage me!

Thanks to @CALActorsTypist on Twitter for editing this, remaining errors are all mine.

Warning: Lan Zhan's POV

How could someone hurt their own soul? How could you stab your own heart and stay alive? How could you betray your soulmate? These were not rhetorical questions for Lan Zhan. He had done that. All of that. Even if it was never intentional, he hadn't meant it, but the aftermath of his actions had been devastating for everyone in his family. In fact, he had practically extinguished his family as he once knew it. Which proved again that the human tongue can be as lethal as a nuclear weapon.

Lan Huan, his brother, tried to understand why. Although he had never questioned Lan Zhan it was pretty clear that he still tried to comprehend the cause of this mess. He had made an effort to stay close to him, but even he struggled to let go. Wei Ying was also his brother and Lan Huan had felt aggrieved on his behalf. Sometimes, he would look at Lan Zhan with sadness beyond his years and he still wondered why Lan Zhan acted that way. It was a real shame he could never explain what really happened to his brother.

Jiang Yanli also made visible efforts to stay close to him, but he had hurt her precious brother, the most vulnerable one. She was an angel, everybody knew that, and she kept in touch with him regularly after the incident even if she was always busy with her college courses. She always made time to send him one or two emails per week and called him religiously once a week by phone, but he was able to notice she had been hurt by proxy and she was still hurting due to his actions.

The unforgiving one had been Jiang Cheng, and for that, Lan Zhan had learnt to appreciate him more. The fact that he had unapologetically taken Wei Ying's side and stood there unmoving and defiant, made Lan Zhan gain a new level of respect for him. Knowing that there was someone in this world who would be completely partial and willing to burn any bridges for Wei Ying without thinking twice about it, made Lan Zhan sleep better at night. Jiang Cheng refused to even glance at his direction and Lan Zhan was perfectly okay with that because he knew he deserved it.

His uncle's marriage had been on the rocks for a while. Auntie Yu had been furious with him even if she had never let out a word regarding the incident. After some time, the fire he knew burnt in her belly metamorphosed into glacial politeness. She had been almost his mother for a little more than five years, but after the incident she treated him like a guest in her presence. She was never rude, never uttering a bad word about him or recriminating him, but sometimes, he felt bank clerks were warmer than her towards him.

As for his uncle, he was still in pain. He had never questioned his motives taking his actions in stride. The tsunami of disappointment that he had brought towards his kind uncle had been so devastating he didn't have any words that would convey a proper apology to him and Lan Qiren hadn't demanded neither an apology nor an explanation from him.

A short while after the incident, he overheard a conversation not meant for his ears. Aunt Yu was trying to comfort Uncle Qiren as he was crying about Wei Ying, his son, their son, the one that should have belonged to them as a couple. He understood that day that Lan Qiren loved them equally, but in his heart, Wei Ying was his son and he had just wanted to make it official, but Lan Zhan's actions made it impossible for him, actually robbing them of that opportunity.

So his private inferno, the one he lived in everyday, was more than deserved. Lan Zhan had accepted the fact a long time ago.

***

He knew without a doubt that Wei Ying was his soulmate from the day they met. Lan Zhan realized they complemented each other, one's strengths balanced the other's weaknesses and he was so happy he didn't have to be alone in this world. He could be silent in the presence of Wei Ying's chatter. He could be timid when Wei Ying was outgoing. He could be anything as long as Wei Ying was by his side.