An Almost Lan

Chapter 35

A/N: AU and OOC, just a reminder.

Thank you for your votes and comments, they really encourage me!

Thanks to @CALActorsTypist on Twitter for editing this, remaining errors are all mine.

Warnings: Lan Qiren's POV.

After opening his email account, Lan Qiren was very pleased to find one of Lan Huan's weekly emails giving him a full account of how he and Lan Zhan were doing.

That triggered a lot of memories. At times, recollections of the day Lan Zhan finally revealed his true reason to oppose Wei Ying's adoption and the following tidal wave that swept all the family members with their revelation assaulted him.

At first, if Lan Qiren was completely honest, he was thunderstruck. The mere idea that the source of all the misunderstandings that put his family in distress was the romantic love Lan Zhan felt for Wei Ying was unfathomable. But yet again, he knew his nephew, he was incapable of jesting with such a serious topic.

After the initial shock, a feeling of relief invaded him. This was, of course, a serious matter but nothing similar to all the catastrophic scenarios he ran in his head for years while trying to decipher Lan Zhan's reasoning, because he just refused to explain himself.

Subconsciously, he knew that he had failed as a father to both of them, he had let his hurt overcome his common sense and let Lan Zhan go on without explaining himself and his behavior for too long, so long that it reached the point when it was too late, the damage was so profound that even if he tried to talk to him, his nephew just refused to give him his true reasons.

Guilt and fear also prevented him to actually helping Wei Ying to get past his initial hurt, letting it fester to nurse his feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy. He knew it was completely pointless and unrealistic, but sometimes he wished he could turn back time and fix everything from the beginning. That, of course, was impossible.

***

Back to the hic et nunc, he wondered for the nth time if his decision was the best one. He had been completely sincere when he told his children that he didn't have an issue with them being in love with each other. The dating part, however, posed a whole different set of problems in itself.

Firstly, he didn't deem appropriate that they would live together while dating. It was not proper and from the romantic point of view, it would take the mystery away. Not that there was much to discover about their likes and dislikes, at least for each other. But they had lived apart for some time and he was sure they had changed, so they needed to discover those changes.

Then there was the fact that they were too young to get into a serious commitment such as an engagement. They knew them well, and even if they were 'the one' to each other, he would like for them to be more experienced in life before settling down for good.

He was really scared they would somehow, someday decided they had missed out in terms of life experiences. It would be better if they dated other people before committing to each other. That night, he exposed his doubts to them. Needless to say, they were not well received.

***

"What about us dating, Uncle Qiren?" Wei Ying was the one who rushed to question him.

"I don't think it's appropriate..." Lan Qiren started to explain.

"How is it not appropriate? We would never...!" Wei Ying protested, irately. It was Lan Zhan, who calmed him down a bit by holding Wei Ying's hand.