Zadison one shots

Terrible Love

TW: long list to give this time around, so bare with me while i list them! Mentions of child death, self harm, homophobia, alcohol abuse, grief, suicidal ideation, sexual abuse, rape, and much more will be presented, so if you’re triggered by any of this, then I suggest you kindly skip this one.

| part 2/3 |

DAY 1105

Time was no longer moving, forever stuck in place by the crushing guilt Zoe Benson felt weighing her down everyday. She was a fragmented mess of ligaments and tendons and sinew; connected to a pair of lungs that refused to breathe and a heart that refused to keep beating. Opening up her eyes in the morning became an impossible feat, and getting up and pretending everything was okay was even harder. The loss of Emilia solidified what the brunette already knew; she couldn’t save anyone. In a world filled to the brim with numerous ways to lose your life, she had become a harbinger of death. To be connected to her was signing your death warrant, and she hated it. 

“Zoe? Can I come in?” She heard the familiar and comforting voice of Madison Montgomery drift through the cracks in the door, but she couldn’t bring herself to unlodge the inevitable grant of permission from its place wedged in her esophagus. So she laid there in her grief, and the blonde left her to her own devices, and she loved her even more for that. Her eyes were so tired and heavy, but she couldn’t will herself to sleep, for sleeping would torment her even further with the faces and the memories of the ones she knew and loved who were no longer with her. 

“Please, I don’t believe in a god anymore, but please someone help me.” Her throat was like sandpaper, and her words raspsy, but she hoped that her pleas were loud enough for whatever was out there protecting what remained of the human race. As she would come to find out, the entity that controlled the universe was unforgiving, and the world continued to be unkind to her. They lost people at the compound at a surprisingly fast rate after Emilia; Norma passed peacefully away from old age, Anderson in childbirth along with her unborn child, Nova took her own life because of her grief, until all that remained was only Zoe, Madison, Fiona, Angelique, and Christopher, who was torturing her in his own way.

“We’ll keep this between us okay?” He had spoken in a lust filled tone, his hands running rampant over her body made her nauseous. She had nothing left to fight for her in her mind, so she let him do whatever he wanted, leaving his room after as if he hadn’t just abused her in the worst way possible. Zoe continued falling deeper and deeper into the grief filled hole that continued to envelop her every thought, and all that poison turned into vicious thoughts of self harm, ending her pain in the most gruesome ways imaginable to atone for all the pain and death she had left in her wake.

Everyday, she thought more and more about taking her life, sometimes it was the only thing she was able to think about, the only clear prompt inside of her whirlwind of a mind that made the most sense to her. She began to drink to numb the aggressive and never ending thoughts, but the alcohol only helped for a little while, and she was back at square one by the time the night was over anyways. But she knew she could not leave behind the girl she loved most; the girl who would touch her softly and hold her as she cried(whenever she allowed her to). Madison revitalized Zoe’s life bit by bit, and thoughts of leaving behind her sad existence were replaced more and more by the blonde with the eyes she found the most comfort in it. Out of everyone that remained, Madison was always the most human, the most lifelike, and the brunette not only envied her but loved her for that too. She had worked tirelessly to make sure the 20 year old girl overcame her grief, and as much as she didn’t want to, she was. 

“Zoe?” Madison’s voice was like music to her ears, and instead of pushing her away today, Zoe allowed her inside her room with open arms. The two girls embraced and the brunette practically collapsed into her arms, clinging to her as if she would never get to touch her again, and to Zoe, every moment felt like the last. They clambered over to the disheveled and messy bed of the older girl, and Zoe settled in diagonal from the blonde, her feet tucked underneath her. She knew Madison was silently scanning the room for any hidden items, whether it be a half empty bottle of vodka or a switchblade stained with streaks of crimson, and she felt suddenly far away as she watched her carefully.