Zadison one shots

Habits of My Heart

The fighting between Zoe and Madison had reached an all time high. They would fight about even the smallest flaws nowadays and both girls could feel their patience and their energy draining. They loved each other obviously, but they would rather love the idea of each other than have all of their good memories poisoned by the toxicity that had been seeping into their relationship for many months now. They had just came home from drinking with their friends and Zoe said something that Madison took offense to, which led to a silent car ride home, both knowing what anticipated them when they walked over the threshold of their apartment. Sure enough, Madison immediately whirled on her and began shouting unintelligible words to the tall brunette, who just sat down on the loveseat, defeated. Once the shouting was replaced by labored breathing Zoe spoke, softly and cautiously, as to not upset the situation unfolding even worse than it already was. Madison sat beside her, her hand hovering over her girlfriend's, who couldn't even look at her.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly, her words echoing loudly against the empty space that was beginning to fill up between their bodies. Every day, both Zoe and Madison continued to push one another away, and now, they had reached a standstill. Should they keep fighting this or accept the inevitable? It was a hard decision to make, but Zoe knew what she had to do. She had known for a while now in all honesty, but she couldn't bring herself to say the words that had been like acid in her throat for some time now, but she knew there was no other choice now. She took the blonde's hand as gently as possible, but her eyes remained glued to her shoes that rested against the bottom of the couch, as if they were poised to run at any given time, which was an accurate description for everything going on now.

"I can't keep doing this. You know as well as I know, that this has to end at some point. The circles under your eyes haven't gotten so much larger and I can't even muster up the energy to run a brush through my hair anymore. We're not good for each other anymore." She finished, closing her eyes to wait for the backlash she was sure to hear from the primitive girl next to her. But all she heard was a tired sigh and she opened her eyes to see Madison nodding at her words, which managed to break her heart and heal it at the same time.

"I know. Neither can I. But I don't want us to end this way, I don't want us to end in heartbreak." Her voice was small and childlike and she couldn't resist the urge to pull her to her chest and wrap her arms around her as tightly as she could. Madison had voiced the fears they undoubtedly shared, but Zoe knew somehow they would be alright, even if the prospect seemed impossible to both of them now. When they parted, they kept their grips tight on one another, afraid to let go but knowing they had to. Her throat was closing up and her heart was heavy, but she still managed to plaster a feeble smile onto her face, to assure both herself and the girl sitting in front of her that this was the best decision for them both.

"I love you, you know. I always will, so don't you ever forget it or forget about me." She chuckled humorlessly and reached a hand to wipe away the tears that were threatening to escape from her hazel eyes, but Madison was quicker than she was, and she felt her heart tighten even more as her pale and nimble fingers brushed against the skin underneath her eye, capturing a teardrop on her finger and holding it up to look at it. Zoe thought the action was oddly beautiful, and she felt a sense of peace that she hadn't felt in a long time wash over her trembling body. Madison must have felt it too, because she looked at her and let a small smile quirk up the corners of her mouth, which were beginning to turn downwards from how much she had frowned. She felt herself reach out and brush her fingers against the corner of her mouth, a ghost of a touch, but saying more than they could ever say vocally to one another.

"I love you too Zoe. Forever." She pressed a fleeting kiss to her cheek and rose from her spot next to her on the couch, disappearing down the hallway to complete a routine far too familiar to both of them. She didn't try to stop the blonde this time though, she just listened to the sounds she had grown accustomed to, the sound of her sifting through what clothing she should take with her, her soft breathing as she looked at the photograph she had of them on full display on the dresser, she heard her sniffles which meant she was crying, which Zoe hated more than anything else in the world. She heard the zipper on her overnight bag zip with finality, and she tried to compose herself as she heard her lithe footsteps approach back down the hall and to where she was seated on the couch. Zoe tried her best not to watch her, but from the corner of her eye, she could feel the curious green eyes she had grown to love so much watching her apprehensively, trying to find some kind of flaw that was fixable.

"I'm sorry we couldn't fix things." She finally spoke as Madison's hand was getting ready to turn the doorknob to leave. Zoe's back was still to the door, but she felt the blonde touch her shoulder briefly before she walked back over to the door, opening it carefully.

"I'm sorry too." She said before stepping into the dimly lit hallway and shutting the door softly behind her. The feeling on her chest was heavier than it had ever been before, but she was also free, and that made her happier than she could express. Time had turned them both into ravenous and ruthless creatures, but she knew that she and Madison both were capable of peace, which was the feeling that prevailed over all tonight. She sat on the couch until the clock struck 3am and that's when she went over to the door and locked it tightly, adding the chain as an extra barrier. She flipped off all the lights but the kitchen one, knowing Madison was afraid of the dark and the dim lighting gave her a more comfortable feeling. She walked down the hallway and into the bedroom, pulling off her boots before crawling on top of the comforter fully clothed. She left the door open, and not because the petite blonde had preferred it, but because she was afraid of what the future might hold for her, and it was always more optimistic to have a light on as a sort of beacon that could help her find her way back home to herself once more.

A/N; You all (specifically meaning Amy and Tori) probably hate me so much for this SDSSFSJG but it just had to be done. I'm feeling kind of shitty today and this one shot is personal because I've been in a relationship like this once before and once it ended, things became so much better for myself and my former lover, much like it will for Zoe and Madison. I wouldn't label their relationship as being abusive per se, but more so toxic than anything else, which is terrible all in itself. But I decided to give this more of an optimistic ending because like I previously stated, it's a reflection of one of my former relationships and we ended things on good terms sooo yeah. Anyways, please vote and comment because feedback is super important to me and is also a huge motivator as well! Hope you all are well x.