IwaOi oneshots

Authors Note

Hello.

I know it's been a while since I properly posted, and I wanted to apologize for that.

As you all know, I used to publish multiple times a month, and now you're lucky if you get one every two months, and I wanted to explain why.
Feel free to skip through.

A couple months ago I was able to write and publish whenever I wanted to. I rarely had writers block, and my mind was constantly coming up with new ideas.
To put it simply, life caught up to me, and I wasn't ready for it.
It seemed as if life didn't want to cooperate. I had lost my optimistic mindset on things.
I thought looking back at this and remembering how happy writing made me would make me feel better, but it only made me feel worse. I started focusing on how many reads, comments, and votes my stories were getting, and it scared me when I noticed that the number was steadily dwindling. It was becoming smaller every time I published, and it caused a new found anxiety to course through me. I wasn't ready for this book to die, not when I had worked so hard to get it to where it was.

Soon after I started obsessing on how many people liked my stories, not how happy it made me to write. I stopped writing completely when I realized that I had lost my flare and passion for writing.

I thought taking a break would gain back my passion. A week turned to two, two turned to three, and then I hadn't written in a month, and I had no plans on writing again. I stoped coming onto Wattpad, and started focusing on other things. At one point, I had completely forgotten about my account.

My absence can't be completely blamed on my lost passion for writing though. It can be blamed on other things.

I had multiple exams within the last couple months, and all I was focused on was passing. Which I did.
However, shortly after exams where over I was hit with another heavy brick.

My best friend was diagnosed with cancer, and told she had a month left.
I couldn't imagine my life without her, and tried to spend every solitary moment I had with her. Partially to gain new memories, and partially to convince myself that it wasn't happening.
She died in her sleep a month ago.
The wound is still fresh, and I'm still trying to get over her. I know I won't be able to forget her, but I'm hoping I'll be able to live in peace with her memory.

I'm not saying that I'll be back full time any time soon, but I'm saying is that I'm trying. I'm trying to get a hold on my life again.

I'm sorry for letting you all down.

Have a good rest of your day/night.