break a leg (not my heart) | matsuno chifuyu x fem!reader ✓

6 | the late night call

CHIFUYU SAT IN HIS room, his mother's laptop open in front of him and playing the video Hina had taken at rehearsals two days ago. The quality wasn't the best, but it still filled his heart. From an outside point of view, it looked like they were just like how they were a month ago - alas, on the inside, they were anything but.

''Chifuyu, dinner's ready!'' his mother called and Chifuyu quickly paused the video, taking out the CD Takemichi had given him from Hina, storing it away in his desk drawer. With the laptop under his arm, he made his way to the kitchen.

Dinner was rather silent, with the exception of the TV playing news in the back. Chifuyu was thinking about two things; Y/n and the steps to the Get Your Head in the Game. As the song stated, Chifuyu really needed to get his head in the game and learn the dance so he wouldn't be a hindrance to Y/n and the others.

''You're quiet,'' asked his mother, diverting her attention from the TV. ''What's on your mind?''

Chifuyu shook his head. ''Just thinking about the musical, is all. There's this dance I gotta learn and all.'' Chifuyu laughed nervously. ''There's actually multiple dances I have to learn, which is kinda scary.''

''I admire how much effort you're putting in for Y/n, Chifuyu.''

The boy stiffened, looking at his mother's words. ''How do you know about that?''

His mother scoffed with a smile on her face. ''Why else would you join a musical if not for Y/n?''

Thinking about it, she was probably right. Chifuyu had no reason to join a musical except be there with Y/n. He felt bad now, since he'd snatched the main role, ruining the chances of other guys who'd wanted it. He remembered his runner-up, Sudou, glaring daggers at him when the list was put up.

But, maybe the musical could be fun. It would've definitely been more fun if Y/n wasn't actively avoiding him, but in due time, that problem would be resolved, too.

°•. ✿ .•°

It was two in the morning, yet Y/n couldn't sleep. Her light was still on and she was in her pajamas, her TV quietly playing Stick to the Status Quo as she tried to learn the dance. She grunted as she ended up hitting her arm against her desk, though tried to stay quiet as to not wake up her parents. If they caught her dancing to High School Musical so early in the morning, they were probably going to take her TV away. They did want a new TV in their room, after all.

A buzz came from her bed and she turned around, seeing the screen of her phone light up. In confusion, she paused the song and sat on her bed, picking it up and seeing a name she didn't want to see.

Why's Chifuyu calling me at two in the morning? She debated if she should answer. At the end, curiosity got the better of her and she pressed the answer button.

_____

Chifuyu woke up in cold sweat, his breathing heavy. His chest felt tight and the image of Baji's bloody face, blaming him for not being quick enough to save him, burned at the front of his mind. He tried calming down his breathing, yet he couldn't seem to. He tried counting to ten, yet his breaths kept coming out ragged.

His hand touched around his night stand, finally grabbing ahold of his phone. He flipped it open with shaky hands, barely being able to see anything, as his eyes hadn't adjusted to the light of the screen.

As if instinctively, Chifuyu looked for the one number he hoped would help him. He just prayed she would answer.

_____

"Chifuyu? Why're you calling me at this time?'' she tried to sound annoyed, but at the sound of his heavy breathing, she was starting to understand what was going.

''Y/n,'' he stuttered the word out, his breathing ragged. ''I can't- I can't breathe.''

At his words, Y/n sat up straighter, her eyes wide. ''Okay, okay, Chifuyu, I'll help you, okay? I'll count and you breath with me, yeah? Just like we always do. Are you ready?''

''Yes.''

Slowly but surely, Y/n counted and helped Chifuyu go back to breathing normally, walking Chifuyu through his panic attack. She'd been pacing around her room, but once she heard his breathing calm down, she finally sat down on the bed, holding her head in her free hand.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, Chifuyu finally relaxed. Y/n didn't dare speak, scared she might trigger his panic attack again.

''Sorry for calling so late,'' Chifuyu apologized, his breathing back to normal now. ''I had a nightmare about Baji-san. Sorry for bothering you.''

Y/n shook her head, though quickly realized he couldn't see her. ''Don't mention it. Do you feel better?''

''Lots. Thank you, Y/n.''

''Of course. If it happens again . . . don't hesitate to call me.''

Silence followed on Chifuyu's part. ''Thank you so much, Y/n.''

The conversation was dying. Y/n didn't want to leave Chifuyu at such a moment, but she had nothing else to say. "Okay, then . . . Good night.''

''. . . Good night, Y/n. Sleep tight.''

Five seconds passed, neither of them ending the call. After realized Chifuyu wasn't going to be the first one to, Y/n pressed the end call button and threw her phone on the bed, running a hang through her hair.

Chifuyu hadn't gotten nightmares about Baji in a few months now. What led him to having one now? Even if she was mad at him, Y/n couldn't bring herself to leave Chifuyu alone in such a moment. As much of a jerk he was, he didn't deserve to go through it alone. She didn't regret picking up the phone tonight - she could even say she was glad she did.

Usually, she was his go-to person when he's feeling down. Now she wasn't there anymore. Was he bottling it up? Was this why he ended up with a nightmare? Was it her fault, because she refused to get close to him again? Or was it his own, for having ruined their relationship?

Y/n didn't know what to do anymore. Feelings were too complicated for no reason.

_____

Chifuyu splashed water on his face, staring at himself in the mirror as droplets fell from his chin. He was a mess, but after a nightmare and a panic attack, he wasn't surprised. He thanked the Gods that Y/n had picked up, despite her being mad at him. At the end, was she always going to be there for him?

Y/n was too good for him.

He knew that from the start. He realized that back in fourth grade, when she covered for him after he punched a kid for saying her hairpin looked dumb. He realized it back in second-year in middle school, when Baji-san had passed away and she was there for him through all the tears and night terrors. He also realized it in their first year in high school, when they finally started dating.

And since she was always good to him, he had to find a way to make it up to her.

He slid down on the cold bathroom tiles, the realization of how much he'd lost at her absence from his life. For the first time since the day he broke her heart, Chifuyu allowed himself to cry.