break a leg (not my heart) | matsuno chifuyu x fem!reader ✓

12 | the lyrics

CHIFUYU DIDN'T KNOW HOW to feel.

On one side, he was glad Y/n was talking to him again. That she seems to have forgiven him to an extend and was willing to give him a chance to be friends again. He should be happy with that, right? He missed her a lot, so it was better that she was at least talking with him. He should be satisfied, right?

But he wasn't. He didn't want to be friends, he wanted their old relationship back, before he'd screwed up and he can hug her and kiss her whenever he wanted. He was selfish. Even though he was the one who hurt her, he wanted her back more than anything in the world.

He can't be just friends with her.

''Why're you so quiet?'' asked Takemichi, as he sat on the couch next to him. They were at Takemichi's house, playing video games. Chifuyu, however, had not uttered a word in the past ten minutes, which was starting to get weird, considering how fired up he got while playing video games.

Chifuyu looked away from the screen for a moment and at Takemichi, then back to the screen. ''Just got a lot on my mind, sorry.''

''About Y/n?''

''Who else?''

Takemichi paused the game as a sign he'll listen. Chifuyu fumbled with the controller as he looked down. ''Wanna talk?"

"It's just,'' Chifuyu started, unsure of how to put his feelings in thoughts. ''Y/n means a lot to me. She's been there for me for years and I'm happy that we're finally on good therms again . . . but I miss her. Like, I don't want us to be just friends, Takemitchy. I want her back.''

Takemichi pursed his lips as he watched his friend sulk. A sigh escaped his lips before he spoke. ''I'm not really supposed to tell you this . . . then again, I don't think I myself am supposed to know.''

Chifuyu looked at Takemichi, eyebrows furrowed. ''Know what?''

''After that day Y/n stayed over for dinner with you and your mom, she called Hina. Apparently she said she misses you a lot and wants to get back with you or whatever, she just doesn't want to get her heart broken again.''

If he'd been an anime character, he imagined he would be drawn with his mouth hanging open in shock, eyes wide. So, Y/n wanted him back, too? Then why was she so against them getting back together?

She didn't trust him. Right.

As much as Chifuyu didn't feel okay with Hina sharing everything about Y/n with Takemichi, for once he was thankful she did, since now he knew he still stood a chance.

''Thanks, Takemichi. I'll see you tomorrow.''

And then, before Takemichi knew it, Chifuyu was out the door and rushing to get back to his house.

_____

It's been four hours.

Chifuyu has been sitting on the ground of his bedroom, his old guitar in hand and a notebook in front of him. Any idea he's had in the past four hours was either useless or scratched out. Why was writing a song so hard? Why was it so easy when he used to do it with Y/n for fun?

He let his head fall back on the bed and a sigh escaped his lips. It was nearing midnight and he was still nowhere near finishing. Rolling his head to the left, his eyes fell on his bedside table, seeing a framed picture of him and Y/n.

It was a picture from last spring, just a bit after they'd gotten together. The two were standing under a blooming cherry blossom tree, smiling wide. Each of them had their arms wrapped around the other as Chifuyu held up Y/n's camera to take a picture the two.

A sudden new feeling of determination filled him and he sat up straighter, picking up his pen and spinning it between his fingers, wracking his brain for words.

I think I kinda, you know.

Yeah, that way, he could pay a tribute to Y/n's song. That was a good idea, right? He stared at the blank paper, imagining the gears turning in his mind.

It was going to be a long night.

_____

''You look dead.''

''Thanks. You're, like, the fifth person to point that out.''

Y/n snorted at his words as Chifuyu sat down next to her and Takemichi sat down next to Hina. The two lovebirds immediately started talking, leaving Y/n and Chifuyu mostly alone.

''Didn't you sleep yesterday?'' Y/n asked, taking a bite of her lunch.

'Not really.'' Chifuyu rubbed his eye that had started to sting. ''I was working on something.''

''Really? What is it?'' Y/n asked in curiosity.

''Something for class, it's boring, really.'' He couldn't tell her he pulled an all nighter to write her a love song. Not yet, at least.

''You did school work until late at night? Are you sure you aren't sick again?'' Y/n joked and reached in her backpack as Chifuyu rolled his eyes. ''Well, you're lucky because I bought an ice coffee in the morning and never drank it. Here, you can have it.''

Y/n put the coffee on the table in front of him - it was her favorite flavor and even though Chifuyu generally preferred energy drinks, he would take anything that would make him feel a little less tired at the moment. ''Thanks.'' He popped the can open and took a sip. ''I'm gonna die at rehearsals later.''

''I can tell Nakamura-sensei you're sick or something,'' Y/n suggested, noticing how sluggish Chifuyu moved.

A yawn escaped his lips and he shook his head. ''No way, I'm not risking missing more rehearsals. Besides, you don't wanna have to sing with Sweaty Sudou, do you?''

Y/n laughed at the nickname. ''No, I don't, so drink up that coffee.''

Chifuyu snorted and finally opened his bento to eat. ''Oh my, can I have some tonkatsu?'' Y/n asked, gesturing towards Chifuyu's bento with her chopsticks.

''Yeah, sure.'' He slid his lunch closer to Y/n, who did the same in return. ''You can have whatever you want from mine, too.''

Hina observed the situation, realizing how dumb her best friend was being. She was starting to act like she was dating Chifuyu again, yet she wasn't sure if she wanted to get back with him. She wanted to facepalm, but she didn't want to cause a scene at the table. She supported Y/n with everything, of course she did. But this was getting ridiculous, even for Hina.

Chifuyu listened as Y/n told him how excited she was about trying on the costumes and taking the pictures for the posters in a few days and even though he was half asleep, he tried to pay attention as best as he can. He felt like he could fall asleep to the sound of her voice, but he knew he couldn't right now.

He was very much whipped and he didn't even mind.

''You know, Chifuyu, I'm glad we can be friends again. I missed you, really.'' Y/n spoke quietly, so Hina and Takemichi wouldn't hear her.

Those two sentences seemed to almost wake Chifuyu up properly, causing him to sit up straighter.

Friends. Right. Fuck.