Dawn.

Will you lead me?

"So ... I was thinking. Would you like to stay with me till then?" Justin asked me finally looking at me in the eyes.

I stood there quietly. It is no surprise that he offered me such a thing. Yet, It is quite a surprise I didn't  have an answer right away. Why can't I refuse sternly as always? And what is wrong with him? What is with that look in his eyes? Why does he look concerned? I remained silent. No, Justin. I can't. Why don't I just say it? Why does he look so hopeful? And why do I even care! Gaaaah Just stop thinking already! So many questions and so lot of analysing.

It is his fault anyway! Yes it is.  He is just unexplainable. He is so suspicious! No one just show from nowhere starting as a stalker and then all of a sudden becomes gentle. No one helps another just because he happened to be around. You don't look at people and be able to classify them worthy right away! I can be a serial killer for all he knows! That is it. I made my mind. I am refusing. I can't just move in with a guy I knew a week ago.

"Jus-" I was about to answer him when he interrupted.

"Not here! I know that the place is rather small. And the area doesn't look that safe off course. There is another place. A two story house, in a pretty decent area. I own it and I am not intending to charge you anything. How about that?" He said. What is wrong with that guy? Why all the effort! 

"I can tell from your eyes. You are still having your doubts. The same as before. What's wrong with that guy? right?" He continued smiling. Stop reading my mind already.

Goooooood. What is with the atmosphere? Why is it so serious all of a sudden. It just feels weird. I feel so pressured right now. It feels like we have been standing like this forever and I haven't managed to say one word till now.

"Wooooo you turned out to be the quiet talkative, aren't you! Hahaha. So serious. Phew! You got me for a second there! What is with all the explanation! I already thought about staying with you. After all I have no money to go anywhere else." What have I done? There is no turning back now. I am doomed. I said trying to lighten the atmosphere, but I fucked up my own life. At the moment it was so important for me to let him know that I no longer see him as a threat. That I no longer see him as a worthless person. I wanted to correct his thoughts of me seeing the place as trash and to let him know that I truly appreciate what he has done for me so far. But again why was it important for me to do so?

I put my hand at the back of my head rubbing it and smiled awkwardly then continued "Also .... I am in trouble now, aren't I? .... And you just happen to be around. So .... So you are obligated to help me ..... Because ... Because I am worthy!" I said laughing it off and walking towards the door where he was standing and stood next to him. I saw him smiling from the corner of my eyes and I smiled to myself.

"Ma, ma ... I am hungry! Let's go out and eat something. My treat!" I said then I hit his side by mine. I went out of the room and headed to the kitchen to drink water. My throat felt so dry inside there. Gosh, serious Justin is a bad Justin! I should be the serious one at all times and he is just the irrational one that would always make fun of me. Jeez Get a hold of yourself, you asshole or next time you will give me a heartattack with that look you have.

Dear Karen, I know you will kill me when you are back. However, It is partially your fault. Please come back.

***

"Ha! I win!" I said as I finished the two liters soda contest that was held in the diner we went to. Justin stood there astonished while looking at me with his eyes wide open watching me win against the big bearded man who still had quarter of his drink there.

As I placed my huge cup down, the whole place roared and praised me. I stepped on the table and raised both my arms, my hands formed as fists, then the whole place cheered again. I looked down at Justin, he grinned and gave me a thumbs up. I felt great happiness filling me and I started laughing. Everyone went back to their places and Justin approached me offering his hand. I gladly took it and stepped off the table.