I'm not leaving you || beeduo

17

quick note, i changed the name of the book to "I'm not leaving you" just so it can fit what i have planned for the storyline. sorry if it causes any confusion!

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Tw: manipulation, panicking, insulting, insecurities, crying, yelling, mention of depression (angst go brrr)

Ranboo POV

Tubbo got up to use the restroom, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stared out the window of the shop and watched people and cars pass by. The sun had started to set, causing the sky to turn into a gradient of light yellow, orange, pink, purple, then a greyish blue. The dimmed clouds were now a pink-orange shade, drifting in the sky lazily. It was quite beautiful. Pulling out my phone, I snapped a quick picture. Photography has been a new side hobbie for a while. I had been saving up for a polaroid camera. 

Someone cleared their throat behind me and I turned around to see who it was. I expected to see staff, but was met with an entirely different person. 

Julian. 

My eyes widened slightly, but I tried to keep my composure. I couldn't let him get a reaction out of me. It's just what he wants. 

"What do you want," I attempted to hide the fear in my voice. 

"I want you to give me my boyfriend back," Julian grinned and leaned over the table, his arms keeping him up. He looked psychotic. 

He glared at me. "Don't look at me like that, I saw you guys. And don't even deny you were on a date." 

"Tubbo hates you, why would he want you back?" I was getting annoyed at him now. "I know he still loves me."

He paused. "You do realize, the only reason he's on this date with you is to get over me, right?"

This hit me like a bullet. I could feel the tears swelling in my eyes, but I blinked them away. "w-what.?" I whispered. 

He smirked. "Oh yeah, Tubbo doesn't love you. He doesn't even like you! He's been using you to stop thinking about how much he wants to get with me," Julian continued. "Do you honestly think anyone could love you? I mean, look at yourself!" 

I felt warm tears flow down my face, but I quickly wiped them away and sat up straight, still avoiding eye contact. 

"No, t-thats not true. Y-your lying," I told him, trying to convince him as much as myself. "Oh come on. You know it's true. Everything is wrong with you! Your eyes are boring, your too tall, your a pushover, the list goes on!" Julian laughed like a disney movie villain. 

He was confirming all of my insecurities, and I hated it. But he kept going. "Your voice is weird, your personality is just awful, and worst of all, your face is disgusting. You're really ugly, you know."

I stared up at him in disbelief. How could someone be so mean, and why did it hurt so much. I was always taught not to let other people's words affect me, and it seems relatively easy when I was younger. But now that it was happening, I just wanted to cry. I couldn't ignore this. 

I wanted to reply, but my mouth was sewed shut. I didn't even know how I would reply. I was in total shock. My mind started flooding with bad thoughts and questions. 

'Does Tubbo hate me?
Has he really been using me?
no he wouldn't do that
maybe I'm not good enough
Julian has to be lying
right?
he could easily spot my insecurities tho..
I really am ugly, aren't I
I can't believe I thought Tubbo actually thought good things about me'

'Is this it for us?'

My breath started to speed up as more tears trickled down. Julian, proud of what he had done, stood up properly and walked back over to his table.