Save Me - h.s.

Chapter 22

{unedited}

I stayed away from Harry for a few days after that. He tried to talk to me and asked me if I would like to sleep in his bed, but I would just reply with a "no thank you" and head to my room. But if I wasn't in my room, I was at work. I had been working my ass off lately to try and forget my recent sexual encounter with Harry. He had pained me physically and emotionally, and I wasn't sure whether I was ready to forgive him or not.

"Anastasia," he said as I walked through the front door after work.

"What are you doing home early?" My face was expressionless and I continued to walk towards the stairs.

"Anastasia, baby, please look at me." Harry grabbed my arm and I spun around quickly, connecting my palm with his cheek.

"Don't touch me," I spat.

He stood in shock for a moment before silently releasing my arm from his weak grasp.

As I reached the bottom of the stairs Harry ran after me, climbing them as well.

"Anastasia, please, can we just talk?"

"About what Harry," I seethed, turning around and look down at him. "You fucking raped me. I told you no, but you still forced yourself upon me. I told you to stop, but you didn't."

I could feel tears begin to form in the corners of my eyes and Harry stood silently.

"I was terrified, Harry." My voice was barely above a whisper. "I have never been so afraid of something, or someone, in my life."

"I know, baby, and I'm so sorry. Please just let me make it up to you." Desperation was evident in his voice but I was still hurt by what he did.

"How, Harry? How could you make up for practically raping me?"

"Anastasia, if you would just come downstairs we could talk this out." His voice was more impatient now and I could tell that he was getting frustrated.

"No."

"Anastasia come down the fucking stairs!"

I jumped at his sharp tone and he rubbed his face with hands before fisting his hair.

"Baby, please..." His voice was weak and there were tears in his eyes.

I nodded and began to make my way back down the stairs, following him to the living room.

Harry sat on the couch and I could see pain in his eyes when I chose to sit in a chair across from him, rather than on the couch next to him. He took in a sharp breath and played with the rings on his fingers. "Anastasia..."

I stayed silent, looking everywhere but at him.

"I'm so sorry... I am so, so sorry for what I did."

"I don't think you are, Harry."

His head snapped up in my direction. "Of course I am, how could you think that?"

"Because every time I do something that you don't approve of, you hurt me. You physically hurt me and I don't know if I can take it anymore."

Harry was speechless and his eyes widened. "Anastasia, baby, tell me what you mean."

I looked away from him, not able to face him as I told him the truth. "It hurts, Harry. It really fucking hurts." I paused, taking in a large breath. "Did you know I have blisters on my ass from when you hit me the other day? Did you know that I have bruises from here you grabbed me and threw me into my bed? I want to forget it so badly and forgive you and go back to the way we were but things have progressively gotten worse and worse and I don't think I have the emotional and mental stability to handle it."

Harry sat silently while I spoke, occasionally looking away in what I supposed was shame or regret.

"You know what the worst part is?" I scoffed to myself. "I love you, Harry."

His face was expressionless and he stood up from his seat. "No."

I looked at him confusedly. "No, what?"

"No, you can't love me. You're not allowed."

I scoffed. "What do you mean I'm 'not allowed'?"

I stood up and followed him but he spun around quickly and pushed me away.

"Anastasia you can't love me."

"Why not?"

"Because" he paused, "I don't love you."

I froze, all of the blood draining from my face. It felt like all of my limbs went numb and I was about to collapse to the ground lifeless.

"I don't love you, Anastasia. I never will."

He pushed passed me and walked towards the door, slamming it on his way out and leaving me alone in the middle of the living room.

***

I had finished packing my things and loading them into the back of Lawrence's car, which he kindly offered to drive me in.

"Where would you like me to take you, Miss Ramos?"

"Back to Austin, please... My friend still lives in the same apartment and my old car is still there so I'll just stay with her."

Lawrence nodded and began to drive, looking back at me occasionally. "Miss Ramos?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry about Mr. Styles. I don't what he did, but it must've been really bad for him to drive you away like this."

I nodded and looked out the window.

"He doesn't mean it... Whatever he says, you just have to ignore him. He's had a tough time getting to where he is today."

Hot tears filled my eyes and began to sting as it mixed with my mascara.

"Miss Ramos?"

I looked backed at him and wiped my eyes.

"If you don't mind me asking, what did you say to him that made him so angry?"

I shook my head and looked down at my clammy hands. "That I loved him."

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Sorry I know this chapter sucks but I needed to update.

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Love you all xx