Sing Once Again With Me

Disapprovals and Disappointments

I can't quite believe my ears this is just, what the hell "Lis please say something" she says to me but I just don't know what to say Jesus Christ "say something" I say to her she looks afraid all of a sudden "I don't know what to say" I tell her "are you being serious or is this some kind of joke" I ask as she shakes her head "Zac is your son" I whisper looking to see if anyone is listening and she nods as I turn away from her "well, well how old is he" I ask "he's twenty eight I had him when I was sixteen" she tells me "who's his father" I ask her gently and she turns away "Diane" I ask "Diane please" as she turns back to look at me tears in her eyes "Randell" she says and suddenly my heart is in my mouth "what" I say barely able to make a sound "Randell is Zac's father" she says "oh dear God" I say "you mean you were....." I start but she stops me "no no no it was nothing like that" she says "then I don't get it" I say suddenly clocking her face "you had an affair" I said and she nods her head "we were in love" she says "what" I say " you fell in love with your step father" I say "hush Lisa please my mother or Zac know nothing about it" she says "so who the hell does know" I ask "only Randell" she says "my mother knew I was pregnant obviously but she just thought it was a boy from school" she says "she offered to bring it up as it was too late to have an abortion" the word hurts my ears knowing what Wendy did to Ben "so you would have got rid of it if you could is that what you're saying" I say rather snappy to her. "No I wanted to keep him" she says "but my mother wouldn't let me so she offered to bring Zac up as hers "that's when they moved here" she says "so people wouldn't know, Randell was born here so it didn't surprise people when they left, everyone here assumed that my mother and Randell had, had a baby"

I look at her "so you just gave him up" I say to her. "please understand" she begs me "understand Diane how can you ask me to understand how you abandoned your child you know damn well I can't do that my kids mean everything to me" I tell her and she sobs at me "I fought tooth and nail to get Riley and Ellie away from Matt Jesus you know that" I say "Riley, Ellie, Freja these two Christ knows I Would die for them" I tell her "I didn't want to do it I really didn't" she says "so why" I ask "because Randell threatened to tell everyone"

She says "tell them what that he'd been sleeping with you" I ask "no he said he would tell my mother that I tried it on with him, that it was down to me" she says "well you could have told your mother the truth" I say and again she turns away "fucking hell" I say "you did the chasing didn't you, you've got a thing for the older man hey, is that why you went after Dad" I spit out at her "NO" she says "I love Will with all my heart" she says "you have to believe me" she says "why do I have to" I ask "because it's the truth" she says "I made the first move with Randell yes I admit that but he gave me all the signals to do so, and he didn't stop me, he'd come to my room when Mum was asleep and we'd make love" I can't believe what I'm hearing "I loved him Lisa" she says "when I found out I was pregnant I told him but he didn't want to know" she says getting upset "he let me down" she says "but what about when your mother took Zac as her own" I ask her "he had to go along with it but at the cost of me staying away" she says "he made you" I ask and she nods "he would have dropped me in it otherwise and he was too fond of my mothers money to give it all up" she says.
I go to walk away "Lisa where are you going" she asks "I need to see my children" I tell her heading back into the house

"Ah Lisa we were wondering where you'd got to" Randell says coming out of the house catching me unawares "just having some air" I said to him he is making my skin crawl. "You look like you could do with a drink" he says "in your condition you need to take care of yourself he says running his hand across my shoulder shocking me as I shudder at his touch "sweetheart" I hear as Ben comes out relaxing me "I was getting worried" he says "sorry sweetie just been out in the garden" I tell him and he comes and wraps his arm around me and suddenly I'm safe again. "Now where is that step daughter of mine" Randell says heading down the garden as I watch him "Ben could we go to the hotel sweetie" I ask him "Why darling are you feeling alright" he asks "I'm just a bit hot and bothered and could do with a rest, I wouldn't feel comfortable resting here" I say to him "Hmm it's not exactly my cup of tea either, I'm not being funny sweetheart but Randell seems like a right dick" he says "I'm with you on that one" I say to him "Come on we will get the kids and head off yeah" he says doing just that.