Getting Over Him

Time

Pat's P.O.V:

I am in my dorm room cleaning up the room before my parents come to see it this weekend. As I start to pick up my dirty laundry that is spread throughout my whole room, I hear furious knocking at my door.  

I frown.  

Who could it be at this time of day? 

I leave the clothes on the floor by my bed and I go see who is at the door. Without checking to see who it is, I open the door. 

"PRAN?!"I poke my head out of my room to check if there is anyone in the corridor. When I see that there is no one, I quickly pull him by his arm inside my room before anyone can see us.  

***** 

Pran's P.O.V: 

As he opens the door, my heart quickens its pace when I see his handsome face. He is growing some stubble, so I know that he hasn't shaved in a week. 

Pat grows hair very fast, so he always tries to shave his facial hair at least once every 2 days before it gets out of hand. Pat has mentioned to me before that he doesn't want to grow a beard, nor a mustache as he thinks it will make him look even more messy.  

When I am lost in thought for a bit, he grabs my arm with all his force and pulls me into the room. My face lands on his chest, I can hear his heart beating rapidly. 

But it's not beating rapidly for the same reason that mine is. 

His is not beating rapidly, because he is not insanely infatuated with me- like I am with him.

Because the thought of me does not make his heart spin like Yuzuru Hanyu does so elegantly on ice. 

Because my arms do not feel like a safe haven for him that allows him to briefly escape all his worries. 

My warmth does not make him want to stay with me until the time of everything ceases to exist. 

My voice does not send shivers down his spine, nor does it make him rejoice when hearing it. 

No. 

His heart is only beating this rapidly, because he is scared that someone might see us together. 

I know that it would really be bad for us if anyone ever found out that we are close with each other, but I cant help but wonder if it would really be that bad for the whole world to know that we are not actually enemies. 

It's not as if the whole world will collapse if we were to announce to everyone that we are not on bad terms with each other. If everyone was to find out, then it would be easier to be next to him. 

I could keep pests like that dumbass Pluto away from him. Maybe- just maybe he wouldn't have given his gear to him. Maybe it would have been on my neck instead, but I know that would never have happened even if we were to tell everyone that we are friends. He has never, and will never like me the way that I do him.

I place my hands on his chest in order to pull myself off from his chest. My eyes land on his bright silver gear that has his name Pat  so elegantly engraved on it in a cursive font. It hurts to know that I will never be able to keep his other gear. Hurts to know that I have missed my timing, and that I was too slow to realize my feelings for him. 

"Shia, Pran! You should have warned me or something that you were coming over! What if someone was to see us together?" 

Pat shakes me by my shoulders. I want his hands to continue to be on my shoulders like this. The warmth that is coming from his big, rough hands makes my heart feel ill at ease. 

Again, I wonder of all the could haves that could have happened if I had realized my feelings sooner. I know that I am being delusional for even thinking that Pat could have reciprocated my feelings if I had chased him sooner. 

I want to laugh at my own stupidity for being so slow.  

"Don't worry. I made sure to check the hallway before coming to your room." 

A lie. 

The old Pran would have checked, but he's dead now. 

A big part of me wishes that someone would see me come to his room and wonder why I am coming to his room. Wonder what our relationship is, and maybe- just maybe spread rumors that would reach you-know-who. I hope the rumors will make him full of rage, jealousy, and despair. 

NO. 

PRAN. 

This is exactly what we said we weren't going to do! 

STOP BEING SUCH A SELFISH LITTLE BITCH PRAN! 

WE ARE GOING TO BE HIS FRIEND! 

NO SCHEMING! 

NO PLOTTING! 

I smile to make sure that Pat does not doubt me, "you know how I am Pat. I am the most cautious person on this planet!" 

Pat releases his grip on my shoulders and moves to sit on his couch. 

He motions with his hand for me to go sit next to him. 

I make my way over. 

"So what are you here for?" 

He asks while resting his head on his hand on the armrest. 

Man, I should have taken some photography classes so that i could take a picture of him just as he is now.  

Then, I could take his photograph and draw him on my sketchbook in my own dorm room. 

No smiles, no laughter behind his eyes, there is only me in those small dark brown orbs of his that feel like they could see through me at any time. 

This is the Pat that many fear. The one that is only concerned about business, to get things done as efficiently as possible. With his big build, he looks really scary, murderous- even when he is not smiling. However, when he smiles he just looks like a pit bull. I wonder if he got this side of his from his mother or his father?

"I just came here to ask you when we could meet more face to face, as some of the matters of the bus stops require more of your input. Your sister, Paa is providing useful information and input-but you know more about these things personally. So I just want to schedule meetings." 

He has a smile on now, "yeah Paa is really smart isn't she?! I am so proud to be her brother, but she gets embarrassed by me so often." He sighs. 

"I just want to brag about her achievements, and also protect her y'know? But she is so annoyed with my ass." He laughs. 

I feel like he always smiles, and is genuinely happy when speaking about Paa. It makes me smile as well, i feel like she is also my younger sister. Seeing her grow is a very surprising thing that never fails to shock me. 

"Oh, but I'll let you know when I am free.  Right now i have some assignments to catch up on, so I will get back to you later Pran." He finishes with his crescent moon eye smile. 

I nod and thank him for allowing me to come in, and apologize for interrupting him. I go back to my room and I open my sketchbook. 

I go to the page where I drew a second vase full of gardenias. 

I laugh at the irony. 

Who knew I predicted my own future?