Getting Over Him

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Pran's P.O.V: 

Give him time. Give him space. Give him time. Give him space. Give him time. Give him space.  

I have been trying to be as patient as I can, two weeks long patient! 

I know he needs time, and space to be able to give me a proper answer, but I worry that he might have forgotten. Forgotten my heated, and rushed confession... 

Maybe I should have waited until a later time to confess, I shouldn't have let Paa convince me into doing it. I can't believe that she's so observant and realizes things before I even did. 

Well, it feels like most people have already realized everything.  

Was I really that obvious? Were my stares drilling holes onto the back of his head that people just knew they were from me, or what? 

Soon, it's going to be our fall break, and we're not going to see each other for a week at our parents' houses. 

And that's another worry of mine. 

Our parents and their fucking stupid ass feud that has always kept us apart. I don't know what the reason-if there's even a reason is for them to constantly be spewing hateful words towards one another.

Why the hell are they dragging us into it, pitting us against each other? Especially when we were too young to even spell our own names. I can't try to show him how sincere I am about my feelings towards him.

I can't try to talk to him because of them.  The worst part is that even when I'm away from them, I feel like my parents are always following me, even at school.Constantly looking over my shoulder to make sure that I am getting the answers right.  Always constantly pointing out my flaws, and that I need to fix them to because, "what will others think of us if we don't bring you up correctly?"

It's always all too much for me when I make a mistake, and my panic attacks start to happen. I clench my chest to try to stop it from happening, but then it's too late when I feel my tears falling down my cheeks. They made me feel like I'm being constricted so much to the point that I can't breathe.

Then, he will find me in a restroom stall that I barely manage to get myself into. Sometimes I will be on the cold, hard wooden floor of my  room and he will sneak in. He will shake me, or slap me to be able to get me to take in a gasp of air into my lungs. When I can get a gasp of air I start to choke on my own breath.  

There is nothing to fear when he's near me. He has always been there by my side helping me out whenever I'm too stubborn, or scared to ask for help. He makes all the pain go away with his big, infectious smile that shines light onto the dark corners of my heart.   

Just as he's been there for me, I want to be there for him. 

I want to show him that I can also be there for him- I have been there for him, but not as much as he has for me. I want to put on a big show for him so that he can be completely engulfed by my feelings towards him. I want him to have absolutely no chances of escaping my love for him. 

I want him to be completely overwhelmed by everything that I will do for him, to be overwhelmed by the things that I give him. 

With that thought in mind, I start jotting down some ideas that I can do.