The Unseen Trial [Ace Lucifer's Series Three] ON GOING

Twenty Fourth Trial

BRYSON 24

Candace was staring at the ceiling of her room. Naka-on ang galaxy lights sa buong kwarto niya. She's not sure who's it from, if that was from her father or mother since she seldom sees her parents around. Dumadaan ang isang lingo na ni sapatos ng mga ito ay hindi niya nakikita. She's not also sure if it was from Bryson or Macey. Nonetheless, she doesn't care.

Binuksan niya na lang iyon, and to her surprise, her whole room lit up with a glow of something that looks like galaxy. Umiikot ang projector na iyon, but Candace was just staring at her ceiling, as if she won't get dizzy after a while. And like the usual, she hasn't changed any of her clothes yet. She's still wearing her uniform, her skirt, her socks, her shoes. Everything.

And maybe she doesn't want to do so.

Ayaw niyang maalis ang amoy ni Bryson sa kaniya. She can still feel his warmth on her neck. The warmth of his skin, the roughness of his hair, the heat from the moist of his mouth...everything. She's not sure if it is normal, but she doesn't want to lose that feeling. She missed it. A lot.

Napabuntong hininga siya at napapikit na lang.

She felt frustrated. If that's the most appropriate word to describe what she's in right now. She knows that Bryson was feeling down because of what she said, but she's not rejecting him. Damn. She's not even rejecting him. Not even in her thoughts. Maybe, she's not sure of what she feels about him, but she's certain that rejecting Bryson was out of her option.

She won't go this far. She won't endure him if she will just reject him as if he didn't matter. Alam niyang mayroon, pero alam niyang hindi pa oras. Hindi pa dapat. At hindi pa siya nakakapag desisyon ng buo. She hasn't figured herself out fully yet. That's the last thing she wanted to give to Bryson.

Unsure feelings. Half-baked confession. Half-baked... reciprocation of what he wanted to hear from her.

At kung sakali mang wala nga talaga siyang nararamdaman kay Bryson, she might be numb, and emotionless but she's not that heartless to say it to Bryson. They can work it out. Bryson and her... she will say it, and they will do something so that her feelings for him would reciprocate his... but that's not the thing here.

It's not about giving him the chance that he'd been waiting for years ever since he confessed to her.

It's about protecting him. It's about giving him time to grow. They should be independent with each other. She should stop ruining him, for real. At iyon ang gusto niyang sabihin kay Bryson. Iyon ang ibig niyang sabihin. In order to grow, they have to be apart.

Because being together will just destroy him. She's already destroyed... and she can't bear to see Bryson—and her friends being scarred because of her own fault.

But...

He's begging.

Tama pa ba ang desisyon ko? Tama pa bang... layuan ko siya?

Hearing Bryson begging earlier, was like seeing Bryson slowly losing himself.

Pero ngayon lang naman 'yon diba?

Dahil kung bibigay siya ngayon, at papaya sa gusto ni Bryson, anong mangyayari? It rather painful this early than to be painful with deeper scars, and deeper regrets. It's now or never...and she's choosing now.

Tama lang.

Habang maaga pa.

Para hindi na lumala...

Hindi naman ako lalayo... She said to herself, she's trying to convince herself. Not for her, but for Bryson's plead earlier. Didistansya lang...

Para sa kaniya naman...