Smile When You Dive In

Chapter 27

For the first two weeks of July, Regulus felt as though his heart were soaring. There was a lightness to him that he had never experienced, and he could only put it down to the time he was spending with James. The summer suited James, seemed to melt his muscles so that the boy was in a constant state of happy relaxation. The days grew longer and they no longer needed to hide in the cover of the dark, spending the golden hour together in the owlery or by the stained windows of the prefects' bathroom, if James deemed the coast to be clear. He knew it wasn't really the case, but Regulus felt as though he spent those week in James' constant company, enveloped in his arms while they talked about this and that, punctuating remarks with hungry kisses.

Regulus was so happy that he found it difficult to keep the corners of his mouth from constantly rising. He smiled at his brother as they passed one another and earned a confused stare, as though he had lost his mind. With James gearing up to tell his best friend about their relationship, Sirius' name coming up in conversation didn't even dampen the mood as it once had. As Regulus was, James seemed content to enjoy their few final days at school before they had to board the Hogwarts Express and go their separate ways. In those moments spent together, Regulus truly felt as though nothing could touch them.

Being that elation coursed through his veins at the mere sight of James, he felt that the time was finally right to talk to him about their differing views. Now that they knew each other properly and he was almost sure that James felt the same way that he did, Regulus hoped that he would listen with an open mind. They had agreed to meet in the owlery once more to watch the sunset together and Regulus got there early, rehearsing the things he planned to say mentally. He planned to explain things the way the Dark Lord had explained them to him, about the importance of preserving their way of life and all of the good things that could come from the Blood Laws. Regulus would try to stay away from the topic of Dumbledore, remembering how defensive Sirius had been of the old man when their parents spoke of him years ago.

No sooner had James arrived than they were kissing against the wall closest to the window. Regulus should have expected it, really. Gryffindor had won their second match, against Hufflepuff, and Regulus hadn't yet had the chance to congratulate him. He indulged him for as long as he could, or at least until he found the willpower to raise a hand to James' chest, pushing lightly. Already the sun was setting, and although James appeared to have been kissed by Midas in the tangerine light, Regulus wouldn't have long to talk to him if they kept it up.

"Everything alright?" James asked, voice rough as he looked down at Regulus through his lashes. His glasses had fallen at an angle on his face, and Regulus reached up to right them.

"Can we talk about something?" He asked, trying to get the ball rolling. James nodded, but didn't seem put off peppering kisses along his jaw as they spoke.

"Course, what's up?" Regulus didn't want to push him away, so instead let his hand rest on James' warm cheek as he forced out the words.

"I've been sneaking off the grounds sometimes. Not with you, I mean."

"Oh, got somebody else, have you?" James didn't realise the seriousness of their conversation yet, still teasing Regulus. His eyebrows lifted in amusement as he regarded him, and it occurred to Regulus that there was no going back once he managed to get out the next words.

"I've been going with Lucius to meet the Dark Lord."

As soon as the words left his mouth, it was like the sun had disappeared behind a cloud. James' hands left his body, leaving him feeling cool where the shared heat had been. He didn't say anything for a long time, Adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed over and over, finding no words. Regulus didn't interrupt or cut in with the justifications he knew would follow, knowing also that it was best to give him time to process and come to the questions that he would no doubt have.