Smile When You Dive In

Chapter 12

The first and most important rule when sneaking around with James Potter was that it was always the last time. The first few times, Regulus really believed that their arrangement was tenuous, liable to fall apart if he said or did one wrong thing. After the fourth or fifth time though, he had realised this was just James' way of avoiding the fact that he was hiding something pretty significant from Sirius. If they said it wasn't going to happen again, then they weren't actively hiding anything from Regulus' brother between meetings, and there wouldn't be quite so much to feel guilty about. The logic wasn't exactly sound, but Regulus wouldn't point that out if it was enough for James. Usually, it was James who said it, but he always seemed to approve greatly when Regulus did it for him.

"Last time..." Regulus would whisper into his ear as they held completely still, thinking that they'd heard somebody passing by whichever passageway or cupboard they were hiding in. Then he'd make some remark, like "...then you can find somebody else to use up your energy with after Quidditch." James would just laugh, and kiss him again once he was sure they weren't in danger of being discovered.

The second rule was that it always had to be on James' terms. This was the rule that annoyed Regulus the most. Pretending neither of them wanted it to happen again was fine, because he knew in reality, it was far from the truth. But the way that James found himself entitled to Regulus' time at the drop of a hat, yet wouldn't give him the same in return was almost enough for Regulus to call the whole thing off. In fact, he tried to once. Really, he couldn't blame James for not believing he really meant it when it was something they said every time they spoke. And by the time James cornered him after Quidditch practice, he didn't have the heart to refuse him. Once, Regulus even attempted to strike this rule from the record. He had written each unspoken rule in the back of his Charms textbook, and put a thick dark line through rule number two when he decided he'd had enough.

After the full moon at the beginning of May, Regulus spotted James leaving the hospital wing. It was fairly obvious that he'd been visiting Lupin. Regulus didn't know where his brother and Pettigrew were, but James being alone was all he cared about. Deciding to strike while the iron was hot, he grabbed James' woollen sleeve and pulled him into a passageway, behind the statue of Gregory the Smarmy. James offered a tired smile when he realised the assailant was Regulus, but held a hand up to his chest to stop the incoming kiss. When Regulus glowered at him, James looked apologetic and rummaged through his robes as though looking for some excuse for why he couldn't be with Regulus at that very moment. Coming up blank, he sighed. Perhaps he knew that his excuses sounded like just that, but it didn't stop him from trying.

"I can't right now, Reg. Tonight, maybe."

"Busy tonight." Regulus side-stepped to leave James there, who surprised him by reaching out to latch onto his fingers. They had kissed a fair amount by that point, but it was always the smaller touches that got Regulus' attention, that brought an unwelcome heat to his cheeks. More and more, James was familiar, casual with him. It no longer seemed as though it pained him to give in to the urge to touch or kiss Regulus, or as though he was worried he might start an argument with everything he said or did.

"Really, I'm not..." He was clearly exasperated, and Regulus almost felt guilty for being so needy. Though really, he didn't think he wasn't asking for a lot. "Somebody might see us."

Regulus scoffed at that, and motioned around them.

"There's nobody around, Potter."

"I know." He bit his lip, and Regulus pretended not to watch, since he was still unhappy. James then gave in and pulled Regulus closer by the waist. "Not like that, though. It's... I can't tell you."

"Fine, then don't." Regulus still wasn't going to give in to his charms, but also didn't protest when James kissed him between every few words, tried to hold back the tugging of the corner of his lips betraying the pout he was working hard to maintain.