Smile When You Dive In

Chapter 44

Before Regulus left for Honeydukes the next morning, he stopped by the girls' dormitory. He was hoping to find both Carmen and Willa there, but found that Willa had already left for breakfast. Carmen stood before the bathroom mirror, lip gloss in her hand and concentration heavy on her face. He didn't think it could be particularly hard to apply lip gloss, but he wasn't about to annoy her by questioning it. He didn't have time for that. Regulus leaned back against the wall and watched her reflection for a few moments, the way she held her breath as she applied her makeup to get clean lines and huffed when she wasn't happy with the way something looked, dabbing at it with a tissue. Eventually, she made eye contact with him through the mirror and raised a questioning eyebrow.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged, feigning innocence.

"Well, you didn't come here just to watch me put eyeliner on."

"I just wanted to see you. I thought Willa might be here, too." She turned her head, regarding him.

"Why? Something to tell us, Reggie?" Her annoyance at his presence had faded and as the silence lingered, he thought about how lucky he was to get to see her like this, unfinished and grumpy from sleep. By the time she made it down to breakfast, her hair would be perfectly combed and a perfectly practised smile would be in place. She would be the image of a perfect pureblood daughter, even if all of her housemates knew it was far from the truth. He wondered at what point in their friendship he had grown to love Carmen, but knew he'd never be able to pin it to one moment. When he'd felt alone or out of place, she was always there showering him with affection and whispering secrets about other people to make him feel less of an outsider.

"No. Just wanted to see you before I left." He said finally, and she rolled her eyes, turning her attention back to her own reflection.

"Well no offence, Reg, but I'm really busy today, can we save it until tonight if it's not important?" She asked. He looked at her for a moment longer before nodding, swallowing his protests.

"Yeah, alright. I'll come back tonight." He said.

"Okay. Hey, if you're going out, bring something yummy back with you?" Carmen looked at him once more as she reached for her hairbrush and Regulus nodded. He knew that he should be leaving, but didn't seem to be able to force his feet to move in the direction of the door. Instead, he leaned over her shoulder to press a kiss to her cheek.

"I love you, Carm." He told her. Squealing, she swatted him away with one hand, like a fly.

"D'you mind? There's nobody here to hear you, you know?" Carmen turned her eyes back to the mirror as she began to brush her hair. To her, it was just any other weekend. Regulus nodded and finally turned to leave. He thought about going to find Willa, but knew that she would be more suspicious of his actions than Carmen was. If his plan was going to work, he couldn't risk it.

The previous night, he had left James and apparated to Grimmauld Place. His parents hadn't been home, which he was grateful for. He climbed the stairs to his bedroom and sat down at the desk that had once been Sirius'. His father had levitated it down the hall the previous summer so that he could take a more active role in the family business, but Regulus had only ever used it to write letters at. That night, he sat down and wrote seven letters. The first to Carmen, and the second to Willa. The third letter was for Sirius, and the fourth for his parents. That one had been more difficult to write, and he'd scrapped at least four attempts. The fifth letter was for Kreacher. The sixth to the Dark Lord. As the final components of his plan finally came together, he pulled out his quill from where he'd tidied it away and wrote a final letter, one for James. He thought about giving the letters to Kreacher, giving him the instruction to deliver them in a week or so. Instead, he lifted one of the floorboards by the foot of his bed and carefully slid all but one of the letters into the space below. It had been years since he'd hid something like that, the stakes significantly higher than when he'd been keeping sweets from Sirius.