Alberta

Chapter Twenty Nine: We shouldnt have done that *

I sit on the porch steps for an hour or so, several people from the church come by and I let them inside to minister and support Joseph and the family. It is dark out now and I consider if I should leave for the night and return in the morning to give them all the space to grieve. I don't want to leave without seeing Allie and holding her. I turn to the sound of the front door opening and find Augusta stepping out beside me. She wraps a warm jacket around her body and buttons it up before handing me a Thermos "warm sugared tea" she offers "you must be frozen out here and I shouldn't think you will get a chance for one at the hotel"

I take the Thermos and let the warmth of it thaw out my fingers that wrap around it. "Thank you Gus... but I should be making that for you..." I say patting the spot beside me. She moves over to my side "I'm so sorry about your mama" I offer in more of a whisper. My voice as solemn and quiet as my soul felt. "she was one of a kind... the world already feels a little less bright without her"

Augusta sits beside me and I wrap my arm around her. She leans her head on my shoulder, her fair hair falling down my arm. "She had so much more to do Willa...and so much more life to live. It isn't fair"

She sniffles and wipes her nose with a tissue that she pulls from her pocket.

I squeeze her affectionally "it isn't".

I am lost for more words because the world feels still, like the air got sucked out of it. The Anderson family were in the centre of a tornado right now. Everything moved around them at a heightened pace, and yet inside of it, it was silent.

"Alberta is still with Mama... she said to tell you she won't be down for a while, and urged you to get back to the hotel and rest"

I mull that over and wish I could defy her and stay, but headlights land on our feet. I look up to find Ben in his truck, he looks stunned to see me, and I know then that it isn't my place to stay any longer.

"Willa" he acknowledges "Gus" he nods and he walks forward from the car and wraps his arms around us both. "I'm so sorry" he whispers.

I feel the tears threaten once again to fall. He breaks away and Augusta wipes her eyes which are now red raw. "Alberta is upstairs with Mama" she informs him "she's not doing too well as you can imagine..."

"I will go to her" Ben says taking two steps before turning back to me. "Willa how long are you here for"

I stand and meet his worried expression "until after the funeral" I reply.

He smiles weakly "good... I hope we can visit... I've missed you little sister"

"You too big brother" I reply honestly.

He takes a moment, and offers a gentle smile before disappearing inside the house.

"I better go" I say to Augusta.

She stands and wraps her arms around me "Come by tomorrow Willa... your presence is wanted I promise" and she lets me go slowly with a kind smile.

"Tomorrow" I promise.

The ride back to the hotel is filled with tears, and as if the radio station knew of her loss it played Helena's favourite songs, and made the mourning of her much more intense.

***
The hotel is a large one. I take my suitcase inside and check in, the elevator leads me up six floors to my room which on entry has a stunning view of the pine valley mountains and the city below it.

The door clicks shut behind me and I leave the suitcase there, walking to the bed and collapsing onto the sheets below. I think a few hours pass... perhaps a solid block of time because tears had turned to sobs and sobs had turned to exhaustion, and then my body had surrendered to sleep.